Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugar , sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume or eat less sugar ai strongly agree with this point of view

when prices goes up people buy less.This happend with cigerates receny.As we know in our country most of the family belongs to middle class and they cannot afford expenssive product . For example if coca- cola get expenssive , children and poor family avoid buying it or also increase drinking water rather then soda's this may also improve their health as most of the soft drinks carry large number of carbohydrate and cause diabetes for example In pakistan daibetes icreasing because children drink sugary product every day in their daily routine meal .

on the other hand extra money coming from sugar tax is used to build hospitals and also tell people about healthy food by organizing some sort of seminar to educate people more about their diet or which food contain more carbohydrates so they avoid eating them

I strongly agree that making sugary prodycts more expensive is good solution beacuse it reduce consumption and also provide money for awearness by special compaign leading by professionlist and also improve their health by improving their way of living life coz people don't know how badly sugary product effected their health so thats how we solve the problem twice in a better way

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that higher prices can reduce consumption, and you give relevant examples involving Coca-Cola, children, and diabetes in Pakistan. You also add a second reason—that tax revenue could fund hospitals and public education. However, these ideas are only briefly explained, and the response does not fully develop how a price increase would affect different consumers or how the proposed spending would work. The response is 225 words, so it is 25 words below the required minimum; the 12 words copied from the task prompt are excluded. This shortfall limits the space available to explain and support your points. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation or a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: it introduces agreement, gives reasons and examples, and ends by restating the position. Linking expressions such as “For example” and “on the other hand” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is not always clear: the paragraph beginning “when prices goes up” moves from price effects to family income, children’s choices, health effects, and diabetes in one long sequence. The tax-revenue point would be clearer in a separate, developed paragraph, and “on the other hand” does not introduce a contrasting view here. Use distinct paragraphs for each main reason and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sugar tax,” “consumption,” “carbohydrate,” and “diabetes,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “cigerates,” “expenssive,” “daibetes,” and “awearness.” Some phrases are also imprecise or unnatural, including “large number of carbohydrate” and “solve the problem twice.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and choose precise terms when describing health effects and public spending. Proofreading and learning vocabulary in phrases, rather than as isolated words, would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons and examples, but the range of structures is limited and errors occur frequently. For example, “when prices goes up people buy less” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “if coca- cola get expensive” also needs a correctly formed verb. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are often unclear, especially in the opening and the long final sentence, which joins several ideas without clear separation. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “most of the family belongs” and “it reduce consumption.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences using controlled clauses and clear punctuation.

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