Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's world, packed food is very popular nowadays. Some individuals believe that packed food contain high levels of sugar which is very harmful for people's healh. Individuals say that sugary products should be more expensive when people do not buy them. I agree with this statement and discuss my viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are plethora of reasons why sugary products is harmful for human's health. First and the formest sugary products do not healthy for themselves becuse they create many health related problems. When multitudes eat too much sugar they do not have right breath and asthma problem. However, they do not relax their mind. Sugary products also increse their fat. When people do not eat sugary produts they live a healthy life.

On the other hand, many multitudes argue that when the sugary products is more expensive people do not buy them. moreover, expensive sugary poducts people do not eat because they do not afforad them which is very helpful for themselevs. When sugary products do not by from individuals factory also less create sugary products.They also eat helathy food. University's and school also awareness people do not eat too much sugar and press do not make advertisements which encourage people to consume it.

In conclusion, sugary products contain too much sugar which is not beneficial for individuals and they less consume it. when they products are more expensive people do not buy them which is very helpful for people's health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I agree with this statement”—and keep the response focused on sugar, health, and making sugary products more expensive. However, the task is only partially addressed: the reasons are mostly asserted rather than explained, and the examples are unclear. For instance, the claim that excess sugar causes “asthma problem” and affects breathing is not explained or supported, while the point that higher prices reduce purchases needs a clearer account of how this would work. The discussion of schools, universities, and advertising introduces related ideas but does not develop them. The response is also two words below the required minimum. Develop fewer points with accurate explanations and a specific example to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To commence with” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is weak because several claims are placed together without clear explanation of how they connect. The second body paragraph, for example, moves from affordability to factory production, healthy food, schools, and advertising. Linking words such as “However” and “moreover” are sometimes used mechanically or do not show a clear contrast or addition. Repeated references to “sugary products” also make the writing repetitive. Group related points and use clearer links between each claim and its supporting explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “high levels of sugar,” “health related problems,” “consume,” and “advertisements,” so the main subject is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “packed food” for the products discussed, “right breath,” “do not relax their mind,” and “less create sugary products.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “healh,” “formest,” “becuse,” and “afforad.” Repetition of “individuals,” “multitudes,” and “sugary products” further limits precision. Build a more accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer clauses, including “When multitudes eat too much sugar…” and “When sugary products do not by from individuals factory…”. This shows some effort to connect ideas, but the range is limited and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. Agreement and verb forms are frequent problems: “packed food contain,” “sugary products is,” and “people do not by” do not follow standard sentence patterns. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “asthma problem” and the run-on sequence beginning “Moreover, expensive sugary products…”. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to understand. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.

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