Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays , Many manufactured food and drink products cotain high levels of sugar , which causes many health problems . There are several reasons why this topic important in our daily life . The main reason is that sugar texation and public health can have direct affects on people and society . Many people face this issue in their daily lives , and they also influence in their daily lifestyle , and different ways . High levels sugar products very unhealthy for health . There are many disadvantages and people eating high sugar products they create many health problems . Another important topic is that sugar texation and public health can have both possitive and nagetive effects . On the one hand , Today people highest uses of sugar in all foods items . For example , People drinks tea in 3 or 4 times in singal day . Tea is very unhealthy for people .Therefore , Sugar is more expensive item but , people purchases them . Many companies manufactured highest sugar items .For example , Biscuits , cakes , Bottals etc . These items are very dangerous for health . Moreover , There are some possible ways to ipmrove this situation . People should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . If goverment and society work together they reduce this situation . In my knowledge , if government increase the prices of sugar then , people do not purchase and not use in their daily routine . By concluding , Sugar texation and public health is an importaant issue that should not be ignored . If people and society work together that can reduce the nagetive effects .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify sugar consumption and health as the topic, and your final paragraph suggests that you support higher prices: “if government increase the prices of sugar then, people do not purchase.” However, the response does not clearly develop an answer to whether sugary manufactured products should cost more. Much of the opening discusses the issue in general terms, and the claim that tea is “very unhealthy” is not explained or linked convincingly to the proposed policy. You mention companies’ products and possible cooperation between government and society, but give little reasoning or relevant support. The response therefore addresses the question only minimally, with a position and ideas that need clearer explanation and development. (Nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph beginning “On the one hand,” a further paragraph about possible solutions, and a conclusion. Basic linking expressions such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “By concluding” show an effort to connect points. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear sequence: the opening repeats general statements about health, the “On the one hand” paragraph does not establish a contrasting side, and the solutions paragraph is only loosely connected to the argument about prices. Several sentences repeat the same point without adding explanation. To improve, use each paragraph for one clear purpose and connect examples directly to the claim they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “manufactured,” “high levels of sugar,” “health problems,” and “government,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word forms or spelling sometimes make the message harder to follow. Examples include “sugar texation,” “possitive,” “nagetive,” and “ipmrove”; “highest uses of sugar” and “high sugar products” are also unclear or unnatural expressions. Some choices, such as calling tea “very unhealthy,” are imprecise for the point being made. Build a more accurate range for discussing policy and health, and check spelling and collocations so your ideas can be expressed precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “If goverment and society work together they reduce this situation.” However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries affect clarity. Examples include “this topic important,” “people purchases them,” and “they reduce this situation”; the conditional sentence would need a suitable verb form and punctuation. Commas and spaces around punctuation are also inconsistent, and several sentences join ideas awkwardly. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “if.” This will help you express the argument without losing the reader.

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