Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

SUGAR REACH PRODUCTS AND BEVERAGES ARE MORE COMMONE AMONG PEOPLE. NOWADYS, MANY FOOD AND BEVERAGE MANUFACTURING COMAPNIES USE HIGH LEVELS OF SUGAR CONTAINE INGREDIENTS TO MAKE PRODUCT MORE DELICIOUS, WHICH CAUSE SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES AMONG CONSUMERS. MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SUGRY PRODUCTS SHOULD BE MADE MORE EXPENSIVE TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO CONSUME LESS SUGAR. I DISAGREE WITH THIS IDEA AND EXPLAIN MY VIEW POINT IN THIS EASSY.

THERE ARE SEVERAL REASONS WHICH PROVES THAT IMPOSING HEVY DUTY ON SUGAR CONTAINE PRODUCTS ARE NOT APROPROATE WAY TO REDUSE THE SUGAR CONSUMPTIONS AMONG PEOPLE, ONE OF THE FOREMOST IS THAT, SUGAR IS BASIC NEED OF FOOD AND PROVIDE SIGNIFICANT CALORIES, WHICH IS IMPORTANT FOR OUR DAILY ROUTINE. SUGAR CONTAINE FOOD AND BEVERAGES PROVIDE INSTANT ENERGY WHICH HELP PEOPLE FOR WORK MORE TIME AND HELP TO MAINTAINE STRENGTH. FOR EXMAPLE, MANY INDUSTRIAL WORKERS ARE WORK TO LONG TIME AND BURN SIGNIFICAT AMOUNT OF CALORIES, SUGAR CONTAINE PRODUCTS HELP THEM TO MAINTAINE THEIR CALORIES AND WORK FOR LONG TIME.

CONSEQUENTLY, SUGAR PRODUCTS ARE EASILY AVILABLE IN WIDE VARITY AND RANGE, WHICH MAKE MORE PROFOUND FOR POOR PEOPLE TO PURCHASE FOOD ACCORDING TO THEIR CONVENIENCE. MOREOVER, MANUFACTURING IN SUGAR CONTAINE PRODUCTS ARE MORE CHEAP AND CONVENIENT FOR FOOD AND BEVERAGES INDUSTRIES, WHICH MINIMISE THE COST OF FINAL PRODUCTS AS COMPARE TO USING ALTERNATIVE INGREDIENT INSTED OF SUGAR. FOE INSTANCE, BEVERAGE LIKE PEPSI AND COCOCOLA MANUFACTURING COMP

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I DISAGREE”—and give relevant reasons, including the energy needs of workers and the affordability of sugary products. However, the response only partially develops the argument: the first reason is asserted rather than balanced against the health harms in the prompt, and the affordability point is not fully explained. The example about industrial workers is relevant but broad, while the final example is cut off (“BEVERAGE LIKE PEPSI AND COCOCOLA MANUFACTURING COMP”), leaving the second body point incomplete. The response also falls short of the required 250 words; 13 words copied from the prompt are excluded from the count. Develop each reason with a clear explanation and a complete example, and address why price increases would be ineffective or unfair.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting reasons, and linking expressions such as “FOR EXAMPLE,” “CONSEQUENTLY,” and “MOREOVER.” These help signal examples and additions. However, progression is difficult to follow because several claims are packed into one paragraph, and the relationship between the energy argument and the affordability argument is not made clear. “Consequently” does not clearly show a result of the preceding point, and the final sentence breaks off, disrupting the ending. Use separate body paragraphs for distinct reasons, connect each explanation directly to its claim, and finish with a conclusion that restates your position. More precise referencing and fewer formulaic transitions would also make the flow easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health issues,” “calories,” “industrial workers,” “alternative ingredient,” and “manufacturing,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main points. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to interpret, such as “sugar containe,” “more profound for poor people to purchase,” and “sugar consumptions.” Repeated use of “sugar,” “products,” and “people” also limits precision. Choose accurate phrases for the ideas you mean—for example, affordability or access—and check spelling carefully. Building a small set of natural collocations about taxation, consumer behaviour, and public health would help you express your argument more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences using clauses introduced by “which,” and you use examples to extend your points. However, the range remains limited, and errors are frequent in sentence structure, verb forms, and agreement. For instance, “which cause serious health issues” does not agree with the singular clause subject, while “many industrial workers are work to long time” has an incorrect verb construction. In “sugar is basic need of food and provide significant calories,” the article and verb forms are also faulty. These patterns sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one subordinate clause; check subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms before adding further complexity.

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