Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is frequently debated that many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar enemy opinion I completely agree with this tendency because it can lead to many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. This essay will discuss both points.

lots of people are now concerned about many health problems for consumption of sugary products like candies, chocolate bar and many more. Food companies can reduce the quantity of sugar in their sugary products so no one can get any harm, moreover companies could initially or gradually increase the price of their products although it is a very big concern for companies is profit and huge market share in the country. Government could use the revenue from the sugar tax to support public health care and provide health awareness campaigns to reduce the risk for the citizens.

Government could help citizens for betterment of their lifestyle regardless of these sugary products. Government could post strict taxes on these things furthermore if people will understand the health problems and what is vital for them then things can be goes right, whereas an another important factor to consider is that people could get addicted to it. One of main reason why I support that is excessive sugar intake can cause diabetes and other health problem which can lead to depression, anxiety and loneliness.

In conclusion I firmly reiterate my agreement and I completely agree that government should increase taxes in sugary food and beverages as a higher price may decline the consumption and may increase to motivate to eat healthy food options.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant reasons, including health risks, possible sugar reduction by manufacturers, and using tax revenue for healthcare and awareness campaigns. However, the discussion is only partially developed. For example, the claim that higher prices may reduce consumption is repeated in the conclusion but is not supported with a specific explanation or example, and the point about addiction is introduced without being explored. The opening also promises to “discuss both points,” although the task asks for your view, which makes the focus less precise. The response contains 247 words, so it falls three words short of the required minimum; develop one of your reasons with a relevant example to address this and strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the overall position can be followed. Some linking expressions, such as “moreover,” “furthermore” and “In conclusion,” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression within the body paragraphs is not consistently clear: the first moves from health concerns to company profits and then tax revenue, while the relationship between these points is not fully explained. Several connectors are awkward or do not express the intended relationship, as in “whereas an another important factor.” The conclusion repeats the position rather than drawing together the reasons. Organise each body paragraph around one main reason, explain it, and use clear references and transitions so the reader can follow how each point supports your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sugary products,” “sugar tax,” “health care,” “consumption” and “excessive sugar intake.” This gives the response enough language to communicate its main subject. However, the range is limited and some word choices or combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “high level of sugar enemy opinion,” “post strict taxes,” and “increase to motivate to eat healthy food options.” Repetition of “government,” “products” and “health problems” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise phrasing, for example, describe a tax as being “imposed” and explain that it may “discourage consumption.” Check word forms and spelling as well, including “healthcare” and “chocolate bars,” to make your meaning smoother and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional idea about how tax revenue could be used and a complex sentence beginning “One of main reason why I support that is…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “many manufactured … contain high level,” “if people will understand,” “things can be goes right,” and “One of main reason … can cause … problem,” which show problems with agreement, verb forms, articles and plurals. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: the opening runs several ideas together without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly controlled subordinate clause, and proofread for subject–verb agreement, articles and verb forms before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.