Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Drinks are very popular in all our the world. and mostly people consume the drinks and sugary products in their dailylife. but these things are unhealty for our health. and thees products are also very expensive i am agree with this statement and give the details in the next pargraph.

Sugary products are unhealty for our body like drinks cakes are unhealthy. If we consume drinks in daily life its effects our body in long term . in my point view fanufactured should take step made more expensive sugary products and to encorage the people to consume less sugar products if conpny shouldake steps people avoide to drinking drinks this steps to help the people and save their health problomes

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“i am agree with this statement”—and identify a relevant concern: sugary products can harm health. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. It does not explain how making products more expensive would reduce consumption, and the suggestion that manufacturers should take action is not developed with reasons or a relevant example. The discussion also shifts between drinks, cakes, and sugary products without clarifying the argument. The response is 120 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250 words; this leaves too little space to develop your position. To improve, explain your reasoning in detail, support it with an example, and address the proposed price increase directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces sugary products and your opinion, followed by a paragraph about health effects. This gives the reader a general sense of the topic. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from your position to supporting reasons and a conclusion. The opening also contains abrupt sentence breaks, while the second paragraph becomes difficult to follow in “if conpny shouldake steps people avoide to drinking drinks.” Linking words such as “and” and “but” are used without consistently showing how ideas relate. Use separate paragraphs for your position, each reason, and your conclusion, and connect each point with clear transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “drinks,” “products,” “unhealthy,” and “people.” These words communicate the general topic, but the limited range makes it difficult to express the argument precisely. Several spelling errors, including “unhealty,” “dailylife,” and “problomes,” also make the response less clear. Some phrases are difficult to interpret, such as “fanufactured should take step,” partly because the intended word and expression are unclear. Build a small set of accurate topic vocabulary and practise using it in complete sentences. For example, you could refer to “sugar-sweetened beverages,” “health risks,” and “consumer demand” rather than repeating general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, and frequent errors in sentence formation and punctuation sometimes obscure the meaning. For example, “Drinks are very popular in all our the world. and mostly people consume the drinks” has an incomplete and incorrectly punctuated sequence, while “If we consume drinks in daily life its effects our body” has problems with the clause structure and verb forms. The final sentence attempts to express a conditional idea, but its structure is difficult to follow. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, and punctuation. Once these are secure, add a few controlled complex sentences using “because,” “if,” or “as a result.”

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