Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the contemporary era, people tend to eat and drink food which includes high levels if sugae content. Everyone, especially the younger generation tends to eat sugary food, which can cause many health-related problems. It is really neccessary to reduce sugar food consumption. However, I strongly disagree that increasing the price of sugary products is not the solution to discourage people to consume high levels of sugar.

Increasing the consumption food which contains high levels of sugar can cause serious consequences, especially many health problems such as non-infectious diseases like diabetic and obesity. It is really important to reduce excessive intake of high sugary foods. Society has a traditional norm like expensive food is healthy and high quality compared to cheap food. So, when product become expensive, people encourage automatically to purchase them. There fore, I do not think increaing the price tag of the product is not the solution.

It is really essential to focus on implimenting new rules and regulation to reduce manufacturing of sugary food. Which means govenment's contributions fo make rules and laws are vital to overcome this problem. In that way, market is not introduced high sugary food and drinks.

in conclusion, I strongly disagree that increasing the price of sugary products is not the solution to discourage people to consume high levels of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the health concern and state a position, but the response only minimally answers the central question because your reasoning contradicts that position. You say you “strongly disagree” with raising prices, yet then claim that when products become expensive, people are encouraged to buy them, and conclude that a higher price is “not the solution.” This leaves the reader unsure whether you support or oppose the proposed measure. The alternative of government rules is relevant, but it is only briefly mentioned and not explained with a concrete example or clear account of how it would reduce consumption. The response is also 30 words below the required minimum, limiting the space available to develop your argument. Clarify your stance and support it with consistent, specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The health effects are grouped together, and the final paragraph introduces regulation as an alternative. However, progression is difficult to follow because the argument in the second paragraph conflicts with your stated position: you suggest expensive products encourage purchases, without explaining how this supports your disagreement. Linking phrases such as “However,” “So,” and “In conclusion” provide some connections, but the reasoning between sentences is often unclear, and the conclusion repeats the introduction rather than resolving the contradiction. The sentence beginning “Which means” is also detached from the preceding idea. Build each paragraph around one clear point and use explicit links to show how each reason supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health-related problems,” “excessive intake,” “manufacturing,” and “rules and regulation,” so the reader can recognise the subject and your proposed alternative. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “sugae,” “neccessary,” “implimenting,” and “govenment's contributions.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “increasing the consumption food” and “high sugary foods.” These errors do not prevent the general topic from being understood, but they reduce precision and sometimes make the intended relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for discussing food, prices and public policy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “food which includes high levels” and a subordinate clause beginning “when product become expensive.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and agreement occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “Everyone … tends” is interrupted by missing punctuation, “when product become” lacks appropriate number agreement, and “Which means government’s contributions…” is a sentence fragment. The final sentence also uses a confusing negative construction: “I strongly disagree that … is not the solution.” Try to express your position in a direct, affirmative structure, and check subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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