Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many industrial manufacturer made high level of sugar like liquid and solid product. Moreover, which induce many health issue . Furthermore, that products should be made more costly to encourage society to get minimum level of sugary food items. It is beneficial to everyone it is decrease many helth problem. I agree with this statement.

First and formost reason to support my stand is that, it is increasing many health issue in nation. In expansion of that issue many youth and children consume excessive amount of sugar syrup and many more products. Which are addictive for them and disturb in several ways. For example, Firstly, consume more sugar could make foggy brain, secondly it stick on heart arteris and induce heart attack in any age of human.

Moreover, government should take a step and endorses many advertise. Which are makes awarness in society. In additionallly, they make such a rule likewise, some amount of sweet are allowable but for some excessive is denie by them. However, product maker would make costiler rather than cheap. That would be a good step for everyone which were impact on easily compare to other following rules.

In conclusion, solid and liquid form of product should be minimize amount of sugar percentage. Along with national law would be followed by product maker and also impliment in public. Beside many endorsement are published in market which decrease of that scenario. However, such all things get impect on all over nation and individual. I argued that it would beneficial to our community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the opening and conclusion: you agree that sugary products should cost more. You also give relevant reasons, especially the possible health effects on young people and the role of government action. However, the response addresses the proposal only partially because the central link between higher prices and reduced consumption is not explained in enough detail. For example, “product maker would make costiler” is presented as a good step, but you do not explain how consumers might respond or support this with a specific example. The points about advertising and rules on permitted sweetness are also introduced without being clearly connected to your main argument. Develop fewer ideas more fully and explain how each supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can generally identify your main position. You also attempt to connect ideas using phrases such as “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and some linking devices are used mechanically or inaccurately. For instance, “In expansion of that issue” does not clearly show the relationship between the health problem and the following point, while “Which are addictive for them” is separated from the sentence it refers to. The conclusion repeats several ideas without bringing them together. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to its claim, and check that pronouns have an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “excessive amount,” “health issue,” “heart attack,” and “national law.” This shows an effort to discuss health and policy rather than relying entirely on very basic terms. However, the range is limited and many word choices, forms, or spellings are inaccurate enough to make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “industrial manufacturer,” “helth,” “arteris,” “costiler,” and “impect.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “foggy brain” and “endorse many advertise.” Build a reliable set of topic-specific expressions and learn them in natural combinations, such as “processed food,” “raise prices,” and “reduce sugar consumption.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to use both simple statements and longer structures, including “I agree with this statement” and a sentence beginning “For example.” However, control of sentence structure is weak: several fragments interrupt the argument, such as “Which are addictive for them” and “Which are makes awarness in society.” Verb forms and agreement are also frequently inaccurate, as in “it is decrease” and “they make such a rule.” Punctuation sometimes creates incomplete sentences or awkward breaks, particularly after “Moreover” and “For example.” These errors can make the intended relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate clauses. Check agreement and verb forms before adding more complex structures.

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