Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, various manufactured food and drink products have high levels of sugar that leads to many health problems. These kind of products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I completely agree with this statement because sometimes people might avoid them as they get expensive.

Firstly, people today's are more attracted towards junk food and drink with sugar in it just for the taste. When the price gets increased, they somehow try to control it. For example, sweets are getting expensive day by day which result in the lower selling of those products. Also, they cause so many health problems like diabetese and obesity. Once they becaome aware ot these, they slowly try to minimise it. For instance, the fear of loss of life will make them more conscious about their health.

Secondly, people will gradually realise the importance of money when they spend money on those manufactured foods and drinks. They started cooking by themselves rather than buying which is more healthier and fresh. This will save money and health at the same time. In addition to this, the amount of money they spent on these products can be use for future savings which helps in secure life. Additionally, people became more concerned towards their health and well-being which results in healthy food intake like, fruits, vegetables and exercise.

In conclusion, the rise in the price of sugary products not only saves money but also motivate people towards healthy lifestyle. They become conscious regarding their future and realize the money spent on those products are really waste.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that higher prices could reduce sugar consumption. Both body paragraphs give relevant reasons, including reduced purchasing, health concerns, and the possibility of cooking at home, so the response addresses the question. However, some points are more fully explained than others. The claim that sweets are selling less because they are becoming expensive is presented without evidence or a clear link to the proposed policy, and the reference to fear of losing one’s life is broad rather than developed. Explain how a price increase is likely to change purchasing habits, and support this with a specific, plausible example. The discussion of savings and healthy eating could also be connected more directly to reducing sugar intake.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion that restates your position. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Within the paragraphs, however, connections can feel mechanical, particularly with repeated “Also,” “For example,” and “Additionally.” Some links between ideas are not fully explained: the move from higher prices to cooking at home, then to future savings and exercise, makes the second paragraph feel like a list rather than a developed argument. Use fewer formulaic transitions and show the cause-and-effect relationship between each point. Clearer references would also help, as “these” in “Once they became aware of these” does not specify whether it refers to health problems or the products.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, including relevant terms such as “manufactured,” “obesity,” “conscious,” and “well-being.” There are also attempts to express ideas beyond basic repetition, for example “minimise” consumption and “future savings.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “people today's are more attracted towards,” “lower selling,” and “concerned towards their health” do not sound natural in this context. Spelling errors such as “diabetese,” “becaome,” and “ot” also detract from control. Aim to learn common topic collocations, such as “reduce demand,” “raise awareness of health risks,” and “be concerned about one’s health,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause with “because,” a time clause beginning “When,” and a relative clause in “which helps in secure life.” Most of your meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “products have high levels of sugar that leads” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “They started cooking” shifts tense from the surrounding general-present discussion. Other examples include “people will gradually realise … They started” and “the amount … can be use,” where verb forms need correction. There are also errors in sentence construction, as in “people today's are.” Practise maintaining consistent tense and checking agreement and verb forms, while continuing to use varied sentence structures.

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