Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I totally agree with the statement that many manufactured food and drink prpduct contain extremely high level of sugar which makes it unhealthier and causes alot of health issues. As these products are less expensive people especially studnets luving alone or anyone living alone who has to go university or colleges to study or to offices for their jobs so they might find buying manufactured food as ot will take less time For example students and office workers prefer to take cereals for breakfast but they contain enormous amount of sugar and. carbs which is apparently unhealthy for them if consumed daily . Moreover buying pre cooked food and also contain preservatives which are not good for health. Buying sugary products like sweets chocolates are a big risk for physical and mental health as most of the chocolates now a days does not contain any real ingredient. Not just chocolates the biggest riakand damgae is caused by packaged juices and coldrinks or soda , its only sugar , more than 50% of a bottle or can of soda contains only sugar which causes alot of helath issues like obesity or diabetes. Its not just unhealthy but as its a lil cheaper so people buy it again and again , so frequently consuming such products increases risk of a huge number of helath problems .

I Believe their proces must be increased so that people can reduce their their consumption of manufactured sugar products which will help to reduce helath problems and will make the surrounding helath and happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You give relevant reasons, including that low prices encourage repeated purchases and that frequent consumption can contribute to obesity and diabetes. The examples of cereals, sweets, and soda help connect the issue to everyday choices. However, some points are not fully explained: the claim that chocolate lacks “any real ingredient” is unclear, and the discussion of pre-cooked food and preservatives does not directly establish why higher prices would reduce sugar consumption. Develop the strongest reasons with clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a specific supporting example to make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall direction: it moves from agreement to examples of products and their possible health effects, then ends with a recommendation. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “Not just” show an effort to connect ideas. However, most of the discussion is packed into one long paragraph, so the progression between reasons is difficult to follow. Several points are joined together without clear boundaries, and the final sentence repeats the main position rather than drawing the argument together. Use separate paragraphs for the argument and conclusion, and organise each paragraph around one main point. Clearer sentence boundaries and more precise references would also make the connections between ideas easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufactured,” “preservatives,” “consumption,” “obesity,” and “diabetes,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at stronger expressions such as “enormous amount” and “health issues.” However, the range is limited and several choices or spelling errors make the writing less clear, for example “a big risk” where a more precise description is needed, and “a lil cheaper,” which is too informal for this essay. Errors such as “helath,” “proces,” and “ri akand” also distract the reader. Aim for accurate, formal collocations and check spelling carefully; for instance, describe how low prices “encourage frequent purchases” rather than repeating that products are cheap.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, such as the opening explanation and the sentence beginning “Not just chocolates.” This shows some effort to express connected ideas. However, control is uneven: several sentences run together, and punctuation does not reliably show where one idea ends and another begins. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “chocolates … does not contain,” and the opening sentence combines several clauses without a clear grammatical structure. These problems sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them using controlled subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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