Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many health problems are being caused because of manufactured food and drink that contain high levels of sugar. Many people think that making sugary products more expensive can encourage people to consume less sugar. It is one way to decrease sugar consumption but i don't think it is the most efficient way.

Making sugary products more expensive at first might seem like a great idea since it will make them less accessible to everyone. Some people might get discouraged from these unhealthy products after the price bump but this doesn't really solve the core problem. It will only help a minor group of people who don't over consume too mcuh anyways. People who have become addicted to sugary products won't stop because of higher price. Infact, they will then spend more money than they should on unhealthy food which will create an even bigger problem for them.

In order to actually solve this problem awareness needs to spread to everyone. People need to know about the bad efforts of consuming extensive sugar. This can be done through advertisement. For example, instead of promoting unhealthy sugary food on the TV and social media healthier alternative need to be advertised more. This will encourage people to eat healthy. Also, everyone needs to have a primary idea about daily nutrients and their how much of a nutrient they should consume per day. This way people will know when they are over consuming sugar.

In conclusion, making sugary products more expensive doesn't remove the problem from the root. Therefore, creating awareness through advertisement is a far better approach

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you accept that higher prices may reduce consumption for some people, but argue that awareness and healthier advertising are more effective. This addresses the question and is supported with relevant reasoning, including the possible effect on people who are dependent on sugary products. The alternative approach is also explained through advertising and nutrition knowledge. However, some claims are asserted rather than developed: for example, the claim that price increases help only a “minor group” would be stronger with an explanation or example, and the consequences for people who spend more are not fully explored. To strengthen the response, compare the likely effectiveness of pricing and education more directly and support your main points with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present the pricing limitation and your preferred alternative, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking phrases such as “In order to,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The shift from people being discouraged by higher prices to those who are addicted spending more could be explained more explicitly, and the final paragraph repeats the central claim without adding a final implication. There is also some repetition of “people” and “sugar.” Use clearer referencing and vary transitions so the argument feels more continuously connected rather than organised mainly by paragraph and signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the argument, including relevant terms such as “consume,” “awareness,” “nutrients,” and “advertisement.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “core problem” and “daily nutrients.” However, word choice and collocation are often imprecise, which limits flexibility and naturalness. “Bad efforts of consuming extensive sugar” does not express the intended meaning clearly; “harmful effects of consuming too much sugar” would be more idiomatic. “Primary idea” and “healthier alternative” are also awkward or incomplete in context. Spelling and form errors such as “mcuh” and “over consuming” further reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range of topic vocabulary and check common collocations and spelling during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “products that contain high levels of sugar” and a conditional structure in “if they are over consuming sugar.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and errors do not generally prevent understanding. Some grammatical and punctuation problems remain. For example, “i” should be capitalised, and “healthier alternative need to be advertised” has a subject–verb agreement error and needs a plural or an article. The sentence “everyone needs to have a primary idea about daily nutrients and their how much…” is structurally unclear; recast it as two clauses, such as “people need to understand daily nutrient requirements and how much sugar they should consume.” Aim for more consistently controlled complex sentences and proofread agreement, pronouns, and sentence boundaries.

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