Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, almost every food company try to dissolve a large amount of sugar in their products which can cause serious health issues. Some people believe that the cost of sugary products should be high in order to less their consumptions.I totally agree with this sentiment because when people see the exorbitant prices, they try to avoid consuming sugary products in their daily meals and find out different alternatives to stay healthy.

On the one hand, it is very prevalent in society to consume sugar because people are not aware of the detrimental effects of sugar on their health. There is the only one way to avoid this habit. If the cost of sugar products can high, people prevent themselves to buy these products. For example, in US, the government enforce a new strategy to avoid the use of sweet products by making sugar related products expensive. As a result, the less usage of sugar save people's lives.

Furthermore, people find jaggery as an alternative to stay healthy. This adaption force companies to change sugar with jaggery in their food and drinking products. This can lead to reduce death rates. For instance, now in Pakistan, people switch from sugar to jaggery. This minimize the cases of diabetes and make people healthy and strong. Hence, many people find this alternative more valuable instead of consuming sweet food.

In conclusion, many business owners try to increase the quantity of sugar in their manufactered product, nonetheless the government increase the costs of sugary products to prevent people from different health problem. I believe this approach can bring several benefits to those who use alternatives instead of using sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that higher prices can discourage consumption, and the conclusion maintains this view. You also give relevant reasons, including reducing purchases and encouraging alternatives, with examples referring to the US and Pakistan. However, the argument is not developed evenly. The claim that higher prices “save people's lives” is asserted rather than explained, and the jaggery example does not establish how a price increase would lead to lower diabetes rates. The response would be more convincing if it explained the link between price, consumer behaviour and health, and supported examples with specific, plausible detail. You address the task, but some ideas remain unclear or under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from discouraging sugar consumption to considering alternatives is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. However, some links between ideas are abrupt or unclear. For example, the move from higher prices to jaggery in the second body paragraph needs an explicit explanation, and “There is the only one way” does not connect smoothly to the following sentences. Some linking phrases feel mechanical, while the conclusion largely repeats earlier claims. Use clearer references and explain the relationship between each supporting point and your main argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic and attempt some less common expressions, including “detrimental effects,” “exorbitant prices” and “alternatives.” These choices help communicate your position, although some are not used naturally or precisely. Phrases such as “dissolve a large amount of sugar,” “less their consumptions” and “sugar related products” show problems with collocation or word form; “manufactetered” is also misspelled. Repetition of “sugar,” “products” and “people” limits flexibility in places. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “add high levels of sugar,” “reduce consumption” and “sugar-sweetened products.” More precise vocabulary would make the argument clearer without relying on overly strong terms such as “exorbitant.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which” and “when,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction. For example, “almost every food company try” needs subject–verb agreement, while “If the cost … can high” is missing a verb form. “This adaption force companies” also has an agreement error, and “the government increase” needs a correctly formed verb. The sentence beginning “There is the only one way” is not well formed. Work on checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, and practise accurate conditional structures. Greater control of these patterns would make your complex sentences more reliable.

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