Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some processed food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which creates a heath problem. If Sugary products should be increase the price which discourage the people to take less sugar. I agree with this statement because sweet products whih contain sugars are not valuable for heath.

First of all, in my country numerous people cousume sugars without knowing of drawbacks. People eat bakery items such as bread, juices, cakes, pizza, jams and biscuit. If people eat in excessive amount of sugar it effect their health. Individual eat bread and jams in breakfast regualry which causes some heakth issues. For example, employers and university students have less time in the moring to make breakfast, therefore they prefer to make bread which ready in few minutes. Neveruthless, it trigger the sugar level at high point and people become aggressive and irretated. They want to eat sugar which calm their behaviour. However, they are not worried about that conditions.

On the other hand, children also takes juices and chocolates which is harmful. The children faces varoius types of issues such as teeth pain and severe mood swings. For example, when children are bound to not intake sweet products, after that they behave not manner, they are shouting without any reason. In addition, it damage the teeth of children in early ages and they suffer in chronic pain wgich is not bareable. Therefor, authourities should implement laws on public to make things expensive. Bakery should use natural sweet for things. If the sugary item will expensive, people do not spend money to buying this.

In the conclusion, when the things are expensive people not buying these itms, but this is not solution. Government should takes steps who use excessive amount of sugar in food and drinks. It should be banned for lifetime beacuse it is not beneficial for health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear general view that sugary products are harmful and that authorities should act, and you support this with examples involving breakfast habits and children’s teeth and behaviour. These points are relevant to the topic. However, the response only partly develops the central question of whether making sugary products more expensive would reduce consumption. The claim that people would stop buying them is asserted rather than explained, and the conclusion shifts to banning sugar, which is a different policy from the price increase in the prompt. Some health claims, such as sugar making people aggressive, also need clearer support. To strengthen the response, maintain one consistent position and explain the likely benefits and limitations of higher prices.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group ideas about adults and children. You also use signposting such as “First of all,” “On the other hand” and “In addition.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from breakfast choices to blood sugar, aggression and cravings without clearly connecting these points. Some linking phrases do not express the relationship accurately, and the conclusion introduces a ban that conflicts with the earlier proposal to raise prices. Use topic sentences that directly address the price policy, then order each paragraph’s explanation and example clearly. More precise referencing and fewer mechanical transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related words, including “excessive amount,” “mood swings,” “chronic pain” and “implement laws,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concerns. However, vocabulary is limited in precision, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the message difficult to understand. Examples include “heath,” “cousume,” “irretated” and “bareable”; phrases such as “not valuable for heath” and “behave not manner” are also unnatural. Some food examples, such as pizza and bread, are not clearly linked to high sugar content. Build a more accurate set of collocations for discussing consumption, health effects and pricing, and check spelling carefully so your ideas are expressed clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures with clauses, including “If people eat in excessive amount of sugar it effect their health” and the sentence beginning “For example, when children are bound…”. This shows an effort to explain causes and give examples. However, the longer constructions are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence structure occur frequently enough to make some meanings unclear. For instance, “If Sugary products should be increase the price” does not form a correct conditional, while “children also takes” and “Government should takes” have agreement errors. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them using because, although and if. Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms in every sentence.

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