Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, junk food consumption among youngsters surged, and it contains high level of sugar which affects on both the mental and physical health. I strongly agree with the statement that products which has more sugar should be made more expensive, through that people start focusing on themselves.

To begin with, constant consumption of sugary products leads to cognitive diseases. Food like carbonated drinks, junk foods like pizza, burger and chocolates which has too much sugar can affect on individuals health and develops diseases like diabetes, increasing blood pressure, and even risks of cardiac attacks. For example, some youngsters eat junk food frequently which causes several diseases like thyroid and became obese. Thus, to live better life taking step towards healthy diet is essential.

Moreover, it not only affect on the physical health but also deteriorate the mental health. Parents let their child to eat packed foods includes chips and sugary items like pastries and cakes which are made in industries, this all items has artificials, preservatives and high sugar level which is unhealthy and harmful for child’s growth and impairs concentration. Thus, detrimental mental issues may child find and even harmful for child’s maturity and development.

In conclusion some believe that eating sugary products and junk food occasionally cannot occurs any problem. Whereas i strongly disagree with the statement and believe that sugary products should be made more expensive, so that consumption become less among people and start focusing on their health and start adapting healthy diet which includes proper ration of protein, carbohydrates and probiotics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant health-related reasons, including diabetes, obesity and possible effects on children’s concentration. However, the response only partly develops the task because it explains why sugar is harmful more than how higher prices would reduce consumption. The claim that people would “start focusing on themselves” is not explained, and the examples are broad rather than specific. The conclusion also introduces the opposing view but does not clearly respond to it. To strengthen the argument, explain the price mechanism—for example, that higher prices may discourage frequent purchases—and support each main point with a clearer example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. “To begin with” and “Moreover” signal the two main points, and the reader can follow the general movement from physical to mental health. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from cognitive diseases to several physical conditions, while the second combines parental choices, processed ingredients and children’s development without clearly connecting each claim. Repeated use of “Thus” and the conclusion’s “Whereas” make some links feel mechanical or awkward. Organise each paragraph around one central claim, then explain its cause and consequence in sequence, using clearer references between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “cognitive,” “preservatives,” “concentration,” “detrimental” and “development.” These choices show an effort to discuss health effects beyond basic terms. However, several word choices and combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow: “cognitive diseases,” “affects on,” “artificials,” and “proper ration of protein” are examples. “Junk food” is also repeated, and the list of foods does not always support the specific point being made. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check word forms. For instance, use “cognitive problems,” “affects,” “artificial additives” and “a balanced intake of protein.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, such as the sentence beginning “Parents let their child to eat packed foods.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur throughout. Examples include “products which has,” “it not only affect,” “this all items has,” and “cannot occurs.” Some sentences also lack a clear grammatical connection between clauses, as in “Thus, detrimental mental issues may child find.” These problems can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and use shorter sentences when a longer structure becomes difficult to control.

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