Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Most products like foods and drinks are includes high level of shugar, the shugar are many factors of health problems. The shugar manufactured should be make very expensive to encourage people to use less shugar in any product. I will agree with this statement. The shugar have been very bad impact on human health.

Firstly, the shugar are cause of heart problem shugar main impact on bons and childrens teeths. The government perform main role make shugar more expensive. The shugar are expensive the people have lee use the shugar and drinking fresh and naturl juice and pure product have gives good output on human health. For example, in 19 centure the use of shugar have very less amount and people healths very good this reasion the shugar have perform big role in humans bad health.

Further more, the government apply the high texis on shugar products, manufacturing industries, and other shugar fasilites. This reasion the people have no buy shugar in past sutine and amount of shugar less use and people eat things pure and fresh. For example the taxes on alcohol and tobacco this products have very lass amount of buy people like this same tases on shugar apply therefore the amount of shugar lass use and people gain a good health in every eating products.

In colclusion, the high amount shugar are use in foods and drinks make health problems. That's the government apply high taxes on shugar products. The people buy lass amount of shugar and use lass amount of shugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give two relevant reasons—health effects and the possibility that higher taxes would reduce consumption. The comparison with taxes on alcohol and tobacco also supports your proposal. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The claims about heart problems, bones and children’s teeth are listed rather than explained, and the example about people’s health in the nineteenth century is broad and not clearly connected to sugar prices. Explain how higher prices would change purchasing habits and support this with a specific, credible example. This would make your response more fully address the question rather than relying on repeated general claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Further more,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your argument, and the main position remains consistent. However, links between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “This reasion” is repeated, while the connection between the nineteenth-century example and the claim about sugar prices is difficult to follow. Some sentences also combine several points without clear boundaries, making the progression harder to track. Use topic sentences to state each paragraph’s main point, then explain and illustrate it in a clear sequence. More precise referencing and a wider range of natural transitions would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “health problems,” “government,” “taxes,” “manufacturing industries,” and “alcohol and tobacco.” These terms help communicate the general argument. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “sugar,” “people,” “use,” and “amount.” Frequent spelling errors such as “shugar,” “naturl,” “centure,” and “fasilites,” along with inaccurate combinations such as “high amount sugar,” make parts of the response difficult to understand. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, use “sugar consumption,” “sugary products,” and “impose a tax” rather than repeating basic forms or using unnatural combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express a position and give reasons, and there are some sentence patterns beyond simple statements, such as “to encourage people to use less sugar.” However, sentence structures are limited, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout. For instance, “Most products … are includes” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “The sugar are cause” and “the people have no buy” show problems with agreement and verb forms. Several sentences also run ideas together, as in the opening of the first body paragraph, which affects clarity. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “which.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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