Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people for less consumption. It is because many processed food and drink items contain high levels of sugar due to which many health issues arises. I totally agree that high prices will encourage for less consumption, because education alone is not enough.

To begin with, high levels of sugar are detrimental to physical health. Packaged food usually contains high amount of carbohydrates which slowly builds up in the body and results in poor body functioning. It leads to obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, and heart diseases. For instance, the drink Coca-Cola has high levels of sugar in its processing and it is a significant cause for diabetes and overweight in young adults. Initially, for their less consumption, the purchasing prices should be increased to encourage people for not buying it. Therefore the poor people cannot afford them; however, the upper-class will shift gradually to other alternatives such as fruits and fresh salads.

Secondly, the manufacturing companies should show concern regarding this approach by adding less sugar contents in beverages and processed food. On the other hand, although some people claimed that it is unnecessary for making items expensive, the government should aware the public for its less use. In contrast, educating others is not enough to inhibit the individuals for eating junk items. Theoretical aspects alone are not effective, yet there should be some practical approaches to follow. Diseased persons with poor physical conditions put burden on healthcare systems, less consumption will minimize this strain to some extent.

In conclusion, although awareness is necessary about the adverse effects of high carbohydrate contents in manufactured food, the practical approach of high pricing is more effective for less consumption.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction (“I totally agree”) and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the central proposal by arguing that higher prices can reduce consumption, and you give relevant support about health effects, healthcare costs, and the limits of education. The Coca-Cola example also makes the discussion more concrete. This meets the task well, with some elements showing the fuller development expected at the next level. However, the claim that poorer people will be unable to afford sugary products while wealthier consumers will switch to fresh food is asserted rather than explained, and the point about manufacturers reducing sugar is not clearly connected to your main argument about price. Develop these ideas with clearer reasoning or evidence. The response meets the required length; 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main position is easy to follow. Paragraphs generally have a central focus, and connectors such as “To begin with” and “Secondly” help signal the sequence. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several linking expressions are inaccurate or create confusing relationships. For example, “On the other hand” introduces a point that does not clearly contrast with the preceding sentence, while “In contrast” is used where the argument appears to continue. The shift from pricing to manufacturers’ responsibility also needs a clearer transition. Use fewer, more precise connectors and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit; this would make the overall organisation more consistently logical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “detrimental,” “obesity,” “tooth decay,” “healthcare systems” and “practical approaches.” These choices help communicate the health and policy aspects of the topic, and meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “adverse effects.” However, some word combinations and forms are inaccurate or unnatural, including “encourage people for less consumption,” “high amount of carbohydrates,” “sugar contents,” and “aware the public.” Repeated use of “less consumption” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn vocabulary in natural collocations—for example, “reduce consumption,” “raise public awareness,” and “a high sugar content”—and choose terms that describe the issue precisely rather than treating sugar and carbohydrates as interchangeable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a reason clause (“It is because…”) and a concession beginning “although some people claimed…”. The overall meaning is usually understandable, and the response includes some correctly formed sentences, such as “It leads to obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, and heart diseases.” However, some errors in agreement, articles and verb forms remain. For example, “many health issues arises” should have a plural verb, and “the government should aware” is missing a verb construction. The sentence beginning “Therefore the poor people cannot afford them; however…” also joins ideas in a way that makes the relationship difficult to follow. Review subject–verb agreement and article use, and revise complex sentences so each clause is grammatically complete and clearly punctuated.

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