Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued by some people that sugary products should be expesnive because of high sugar level which will make people consume them in lesser amount. Although some people might disagree with this statement,I completely agree.Not only because high sugar can cause health issues,can reduce stamina and also helps in better dental health.

There are multiple benefits of consuming less sugar in daily life.Firstly, high sugar consumption can cause life threatning disease.As it can cause Diabetes less consumption will maintain the sugar level in blood.Take an example of France where a survey was conducted which showed people consuming less sugary products are less likely to be diagonsed with Diabetes.Thus,less consumption of sugar is better for human health.

Secondly,Taking huge amount of sugar in daily life can reduce stamina rapidly.As it can make a person fat and reducing mind power in some aspects.For instance,in Japan 65% of people using less sugar items are more healthier than the people utilizing more sugary products.Hence,having lower amount of sugar helps in better physical health

Finally,higher usage of sugar can cause intense amount of dental problems.As these are quite common in people consuming high sugar in their daily life.

To sum up,I beleive that sugary items should be made expensive so that people will use lesser amount of it.Not only becasue it helps in to control health issues related to sugar can maintain a better physical existense of a person but also helps in to improve the dental health which are main cause of consuming high sugary products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give relevant health-related reasons involving diabetes, physical health and dental problems. However, the response only partly develops the task. Most of the discussion explains why sugar is harmful, rather than showing how higher prices would encourage people to consume less or considering whether this measure would be effective. The examples about France and Japan are presented as survey findings but are not explained or connected in detail to the pricing proposal. The opening also says that sugar “helps in better dental health,” which contradicts your later argument and makes your position less clear at that point. Develop the link between price and consumption, and support fewer ideas more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “Finally,” and a conclusion. This makes the main points easy to locate. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. For example, “As it can cause Diabetes less consumption will maintain the sugar level in blood” does not clearly show how the ideas relate, and the final body paragraph gives a reason without developing it. The conclusion repeats several points from the introduction and body rather than bringing them together clearly. Use linking phrases to express precise relationships, and make sure each paragraph develops one main point before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sugar consumption,” “Diabetes,” “stamina” and “dental problems,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “life threatning disease,” “diagonsed with Diabetes,” “more healthier,” and “physical existense.” Phrases such as “using less sugar items” and “higher usage of sugar” also sound unnatural. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “consume fewer sugary products,” “be diagnosed with diabetes,” and “maintain good oral health.” Check spelling carefully and avoid repeating “sugar” and “health” when a precise alternative is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “As,” and you use a range of sentence lengths. However, these attempts are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. For example, “Although some people might disagree with this statement,I completely agree” needs clearer punctuation, while “As it can make a person fat and reducing mind power” is an incomplete and grammatically inconsistent sentence. The opening sentence also contains a confusing structure, and the conclusion has several clauses that do not connect correctly. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement, articles and punctuation before adding more complex clauses.

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