Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Firstly, i believe it can be very useful way of encourging people to use the products that contain less sugar to avoid any health issue aur harming our body by consuming alot of sugar in a daily life. Products that contain high levels of sugar can be very harmful for the overall health of an individual as it can affects in a number of ways, for instance consuming more sugar can increase the weight of individual which can lead to issues mental health as well because, people take very seriouslly that how they appear so looking at fat body can be a reason of anxiety and depression for the individuals.

Purchasing, food or drink that contains high level of sugar can lead to diabetes, which is very harmful disease, as it affects the whole body including the immune system. Encourage people to consume less sugar is a great idea, for example in my down there are alot of families who can't afford purchase more expensive items because they have a little amount of money to manage expenses of food. But, By making sugar expensive will definetly reduce the consumption of sugar across the country whichg will lead to people have having more healthy lifetyle by consuming less sugar.

There are also some consequences of making sugar items expensive, one of the prominent problem would be the agricultural loss of the people which have grown the crops of sugar can if people will npot buy the sugar items the demand of sugarcane will drop in a significant way which will cause problem for the people who rely on the crops of sugar for their living. Also, there are number of shops in a country who sell sugary items, like ice cream, sweets, snd cakes it will affect their business and that affect will directly become the reason of economic problems of the country.

In, conclusion it is crucial to encourage people to consume less sugar for their wellbeing is crucial but, it should be done in a balance way to avoid cause any loss to anyone, also the economy of the country as sugar is the one of most sold items in a coumtry. Online tv shows should be introduced to motivate people to consume less sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You take a clear position that reducing sugar consumption is important, while arguing that price increases should be balanced against possible economic harm. Relevant support includes health risks such as weight gain and diabetes, and effects on sugar-cane growers and shops. This addresses the question, but the central proposal—making sugary products more expensive—is not consistently evaluated: the first paragraph supports it, while the conclusion shifts to a general call for balance and introduces online TV shows without explaining how they fit your argument. Some points, especially the effects on growers and businesses, are asserted rather than developed with clear reasoning or examples. Explain how the policy could be designed to reduce health risks while limiting these economic costs, and maintain that position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: health benefits are discussed first, possible economic drawbacks follow, and a conclusion is provided. This gives the reader a broad progression from support to qualification. However, connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “But, By making sugar expensive” does not clearly connect the affordability point to the claimed reduction in consumption, and the final sentence about online TV shows feels disconnected from the conclusion. Some sentences also contain several ideas joined together, making the line of reasoning harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences, divide long sentences where needed, and make each paragraph’s role in your argument explicit. Referencing and transitions should clarify how each point supports your position rather than simply adding another idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “high levels of sugar,” “immune system,” “agricultural loss,” and “economic problems.” These choices help communicate health and financial consequences. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “encourging,” “seriouslly,” “definetly,” and “lifestyle” misspelled as “lifetyle.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “looking at fat body” and “agricultural loss of the people.” Repetition of “sugar,” “people,” and “problem” limits flexibility. Build accuracy with common collocations and more precise terms, such as “excessive sugar consumption,” “weight gain,” and “livelihoods of sugar-cane farmers.” Proofreading spelling and choosing natural word combinations would make your meaning more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “as,” and “if,” and you use these to explain causes and consequences. However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “it can affects,” “Encourage people to consume less sugar is,” and “will lead to people have having,” where verb forms or sentence construction are faulty. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a very harmful disease” and the comma after “In” in the conclusion. Some sentences combine multiple clauses without clear punctuation, while capitalisation is inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, infinitive and gerund patterns, and punctuation in longer sentences; then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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