Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Numerous manufactured food and drink items carry high levels of sugar that can cause many health issues .sugary items should be made more expensive so it encourage people to use them less . This has become a heated argument in this contemporary society . What diseases a high sugary product can cause and why the prices should not be increased will be discussed.

First of all high level sugar product can cause diabetes.

When an individual is some where around forty five to fifty his body starts to glycate. The organ which produce insulin with the grasp of time become weak and produce less insulin as compared to a young men organ .when he eat sugar product the insulin in the body struggles . This does not happen with a young men young or women .because when he eat sugar the body turns the sugar and store it in his body as fat but here comes the part where the young individual thinks he is safe instead of moving and exercising he relax . The fat can cause obesity which later can cause diabetes and according to research there is no cure for diabetes. The drinks like soft drink,cold,drink and the wine are main reason for diabetes . If the prices are increased there is nothing special is going to happen.

People are still going to buy this slow poison. Increasing price will only help companies to earn more profit.

Mine perspiration is we should spread awareness in local public about the complications these products can cause .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the health impacts of sugar and the effectiveness of price increases. However, the development is uneven. While the explanation of diabetes is attempted, it is scientifically inaccurate and lacks clarity. The argument against price increases is presented but remains underdeveloped, relying on a simple assertion that people will continue to buy 'slow poison.' The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack the depth and logical progression required for a higher band. To improve, focus on providing more coherent, logical arguments that directly address the economic and social implications of the proposed tax.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. The progression of ideas is often disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from insulin production to obesity and then to soft drinks is confusing. Cohesive devices are used sparingly and sometimes incorrectly (e.g., 'but here comes the part where'). The lack of clear linking words makes the relationship between sentences difficult to follow. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'glycate' used incorrectly, 'grasp of time' instead of 'passage of time,' and 'mine perspiration' instead of 'my perspective.' These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'insulin' and 'obesity,' the overall range is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and ensuring words are used in their correct context is essential.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the organ which produce,' 'he eat sugar'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors (e.g., '.sugary'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences are often marred by errors that affect clarity. The control of basic grammar is inconsistent, which frequently distracts the reader. Focusing on fundamental sentence construction, such as ensuring subjects and verbs agree and using correct verb tenses, will help improve the accuracy and readability of your writing.

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