Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this fast paced era,where this generation would prefer more on the taste of the product and faster eating items rather than its product containing ingredients which should made a million dollar benefit to the companies by adding the cheaper and unhealthy ingredients.I firmly agree with this statement and i will discuss my views in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, the sugars products were very cheap and easily available everycorner of the market by which customers mostly the young generation should attract by these products and consumed it without knowing its benefits or drawbacks.Primarily the solution to controlling it is decreasing it popularity by making it more expensive. One and only should make a eye of these type of products and even add some restrictions like the suffiecient of the usage of products whereas even if company does not follow rule put higher sanctions to the company. As a result,it will not properly controlled whereas a sufficient amount pf usage of sugary became lower as most of the students have sufficient amount of money. From which they should prefer other things which came under their budget.

In addition, the usage of sugary drinks became lower by adding some other healthy drinks which gave same taste but came in lower price and sufficient healthy ingredients.Firstly people should encourage by seeinc this drinks near to the sugary drinks and even encourage to drink less sugary products if these drinks provide same taste whereas a better quality.Hence it should perform a better performance and maintain their health.

To conclude, bh making these drinks more expensive can makes their sale drop.From which they also producing less sugary beverages for their competitors which perform better in the market. Thus the should encourage to eat less sugary.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing the price of sugary products. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that higher prices would reduce consumption, the supporting arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, well-explained examples. For instance, the suggestion to introduce 'other healthy drinks' is a relevant point, but it is not fully explored in terms of how this would practically influence consumer behavior. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed argument with clear evidence or logical reasoning to support your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the phrase 'One and only should make a eye of these type of products' which disrupts the flow. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, making the logical progression feel disjointed. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between price increases and competitor behavior is not explicitly linked. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother, more professional flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'sugary products' and 'healthy'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'faster eating items' instead of 'fast food' and 'make a eye of' instead of 'monitor' or 'regulate'. Some phrases are also grammatically incorrect, which hinders the precision of your argument. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and ensure that words are used in their correct context to convey your meaning more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('sugars products were', 'it will not properly controlled'), incorrect verb forms, and missing articles. Sentence structures are often simple or contain errors when attempting complexity, such as the run-on sentence in the introduction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These errors frequently impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly to avoid confusion.

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