Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Sugar consumption rate has been increased due to packaged food and soft drinks around the globe which is causing serious health issues. Which is a big threat to the people of all ages. Especially childremn and aged persons becomes their victim easily. Because their immune system is not strong enough at that time.

Mostly it causes diabetes which is mother of different diseases. It weakens the immunity level and people becomes ill. As it is mentioned that soft drinks contain a large amount of sugar which is also labled on their cans and bottles but people still consume them. Becuase it contains caffeine which realx their mind and they easily become its victim. Such people gain fat and they are not able to do their activities normally. As in Mexico Coke is consumed widly and their most of the people drink 4 to 5 liters of coke instead of water. They are fat and less active .

The sugar consumption can be decreased by giving awareness to people. That it is not good for mental and physical health. While if the soft drinks and such foods which has high sugar value they could not be cheap. Their rates must be increased so that people buy less such items. But it is not a very practical method becuase after increase of rates there will also be increase in demand of such things. it's only solution is that people are educated amd awared about it. That their life is more important as compare the soft drinks or sugar containing items.

its just a pleasure of few seconds but can ruin life later.

i strongly belive that sugar containing items must be limitized but if they get expensive people will still buy them. So the best way is to spread awareness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of sugar and the proposal to increase prices. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide a clear position—that education is more effective than taxation—the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the claim that increasing prices will not work because demand will remain high is a good point, but it is not fully supported with detailed reasoning or evidence. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-developed argument rather than restating the same point in different ways. The conclusion is clear, but the overall structure could be more balanced to ensure all parts of the prompt are explored thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, starting sentences with 'Because' or 'Which' creates fragments rather than complex sentences. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, such as the shift from the health effects of sugar to the proposed solution. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' 'nevertheless') to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite basic and repetitive. You use words like 'victim,' 'sugar,' and 'increase' frequently. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'limitized' (limited), 'awared' (aware), and 'mother of different diseases' (a common idiom, but used awkwardly here). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to health and economics, such as 'obesity,' 'fiscal policy,' 'preventative measures,' or 'public health initiatives.' Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently produce sentence fragments, such as 'Which is a big threat to the people of all ages.' and 'its just a pleasure of few seconds but can ruin life later.' Additionally, there are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people becomes ill') and article usage. While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they occur frequently enough to distract the reader. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction—ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb—before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency will also help.

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