Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

From my perspective, I agree with that many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which creates many health problems. and definitely these products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

The reason of my agree perspective is that now a days we see how many peoples are diagnosing the diabetes patients on daily basis. not only elder people but young also, even now the cases of children also growing. that is all due to the excessive use of high level sugar products and food. if we see in past there is no name of diabetes, high blood pressure and tiredness. because they eat simple natural food which keep them healthy. if we see the routine of today peoples from breakfast to dinner all eat manufactured food and drinks, which unfortunately causes the many health problems.

So i will suggest these manufactured food and drink products must be expensive so the people consume less sugar. not only expensive but it also be do something about awareness of people how sugar is extremely harmful for their health. if the condition of using these products continuously increasing in future the world will see the majority of unwell people and the population will also start decreasing.

now its the time need to do something on internatinal level to control these high levels of sugar products. by passing strictly law of manufacturing this and provide the people a motivating awareness platform. so the people consume less sugar and spend healthy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing prices for sugary products. However, the development of ideas is limited. While the essay mentions health issues like diabetes, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth or specific evidence. The suggestion to use awareness campaigns is a relevant addition, but the overall response feels underdeveloped, particularly in the second and third paragraphs where the reasoning remains quite general. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical steps to explain how price increases would effectively change consumer behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'if we see', 'not only... but also'). There are instances where the logical flow between sentences is disjointed, such as the transition between the discussion of past health and current eating habits. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points but is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'manufactured food', 'health problems', and 'expensive'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'diagnosing the diabetes patients' (which is grammatically incorrect) and 'no name of diabetes' (which is unnatural). To improve, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to health, economics, and public policy. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('cases... is growing'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, which makes the text difficult to read at times. For example, 'if the condition of using these products continuously increasing in future' is grammatically incomplete. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for punctuation errors. Reducing the number of errors is essential to improve your score in this criterion.

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