Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Most of the brands make products with huge amount of sugar, that becomes of many body problems. If brands spent more money in products so, they causes minimize sugar.
I'm totally agree with this statement. Last research of United Kingdom contain a so many health problems patients due to too amount much in sugar products uses. On the other side also the research of united nation population division the quantity of patients are repedally increases in health problems and also include sugar patients in world level. Fox example, nestle is a big brand in worldwide and it's uses are too much common. In the juice of nestle sugar level is almost 100ml in 1litter and this is sample of brands added sugar in products to make a big profit.
On the other side, If government makes health departments for this control of sugar level in products then may have big chances to avoid this type of prohibited things. Also these departments are works and crackdown on the too much non branded manufactures. Fox example, every city have a good departments of health that watch the only authentic brands and the products so, that's good impact on sugar patients.
In conclusion, If only brands and manufactured working on the products and remove unauthentic brands and also make departments those working to check daily bases all materials use in this product to control the sugar and also the many problems of health and sugar patients in country and worldwide level.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position, but the development of ideas is limited and often unclear. While you mention the need for government intervention and the role of brands, the arguments lack depth and logical support. The essay is also slightly under the 250-word minimum, which impacts the overall task completion. To improve, ensure you fully explain your reasoning with more specific examples and ensure your conclusion directly reflects the arguments made in the body paragraphs. The connection between increasing prices and reducing consumption—the core of the prompt—is not explicitly discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'also' and 'if'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to your main thesis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'big', 'good', and 'problems'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'repedally increases' instead of 'steadily increasing' and 'body problems' instead of 'health issues'. Some phrases are awkward, which occasionally impedes the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations appropriate for a formal essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a limited range of grammatical structures, and the essay contains frequent errors in sentence construction, verb tense, and article usage. For example, 'that becomes of many body problems' and 'every city have a good departments' are grammatically incorrect. These errors are frequent and sometimes make the meaning difficult to grasp. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of plurals before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
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