Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In recent years there is significant increase in many health problem related to the consumption of high amount of sugar. which is largely contributed to the easy availability of the sugar products in the market. I fully agree with the proposed statement as this easy availability of large amount of sugar has lead to increased intake of sugary products among people.
In previous times, where sugar was once seen as a luxury which can only be affordable by the rich and wealthy now even the poorest of the household have access to sugar. It would have been good example of reducing gap between rich and poor. However in modern era, the sugar produced by industry is not quality assured nor it is fit for the consumption of people.
Large amount of adulteration made by production industry has lead to consequency of large consumption of sugary products as many chronic health issues such as diabetes, neurological impairments, even heart diseases.
The sugar used in the production of the goods are low-quality extract left from the sugar canes. which are exploited by large industry for profit and mass-production of low-quality sugar. This low quality sugar is consumed by the unaware buyers from the traders claiming 100% purity of the goods.
The government have taken initiatives to combat the sale of artificial or
low quality sugar by banning such goods. However the government
cannot ban all the sugar products as it can effect their economy. Instead increasing the taxes on sugary products would be a
keen-worthy effort in stopping people from consuming sugar in large amount.
In conclusion, people cannot be banned from consuming any goods without taking their autonomy, However knowledge as well as government initiatives can lead the people to successfully reduce the amount of sugar in daily consumption.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
You have addressed the prompt by clearly stating your agreement with the proposal to increase taxes on sugary products. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention health issues like diabetes and heart disease, the argument regarding 'adulteration' and 'low-quality extracts' is not directly relevant to the core prompt about sugar content itself. To improve, focus more on the economic mechanism of taxation and how it specifically influences consumer behavior. The essay covers the main points, but the supporting arguments could be more logically connected to the specific task of taxing sugar to reduce consumption.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'In previous times, where sugar was once seen as a luxury...' which lacks a clear logical link to the following sentence. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented, such as 'which are exploited by large industry for profit...' and 'which causes many health problems.' These fragments disrupt the flow of ideas. Improving your use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence is complete will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, including terms like 'adulteration,' 'neurological impairments,' and 'autonomy.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'keen-worthy effort' and 'consequency of large consumption.' The phrase 'easy availability of the sugar products' is also slightly unnatural. While your vocabulary is adequate for the task, you need to focus on using words in their correct context and improving your collocation skills to reach a higher band. Avoid inventing phrases that do not exist in standard English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
Your writing shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there is significant increase,' 'government have taken'), article usage (e.g., 'the sugar produced'), and sentence fragments. For example, 'which is largely contributed to...' is a fragment that should be part of the preceding sentence. While you attempt complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on basic grammatical accuracy, such as ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency.
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