Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Intentional surging the prices of sugar in order to control its consumption which directly impacts their people's mental health has become a widely debated issue. Some people believe that the execessive amount of sugar being used fot manufacturing food and beverages can only be controlled by spiking up the prices of sugar. While others disagree with this opinion. I stand with the latter point of view that increasing surgar prices can give unfair advantage to other key competitors in the market. This issue should be handled by raising awareness among people through campaigns and other activities.

Firstly every busisness key player has right to market or advertise his product in any legal way. Moreover they also have right to decide the prices of their products on their own without any external interference. As a democractic government ensures that every busisness will be given level playing field so imposing unnecessary taxes on just sugar without an legtimate reasons is unfair for sugar mills and their owners and will give an advantage to other busisness competitors working in food industry.

However, having said that ignoring rising mental health issues is not the solution itself. These issues should be endured through awareness campaigns which must be headed or promoted by governments itself. These campaigns should include students and individuals from each community to which raises awareness among people and make them literate about effects of sugar consumption on their bodies and mind. They should be encouraged reduce the usage of sugar in their daily lives and consult doctors in order to fullfill the nutritional needs of their body.

To conclude, banning or inflating prices of sugar would not create any difference. Howver raising awareness and literacy among people can go a long way and could have many postitive impacts on the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the core issue and provided a counter-argument based on economic fairness and alternative solutions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding 'unfair advantage to competitors' is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is extended with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples. The focus on 'mental health' as a primary consequence of sugar consumption is a bit unusual, as physical health issues like obesity and diabetes are more commonly cited in this context, which slightly impacts the relevance of your supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'To conclude' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the jump from discussing business rights to the suggestion of awareness campaigns could be smoother. Additionally, there are some minor issues with referencing; for example, the phrase 'these issues should be endured' is slightly confusing in context, as 'endured' is not the ideal word choice for addressing a problem. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'legitimate', 'interference', and 'nutritional needs'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'Intentional surging the prices' (should be 'Intentionally surging' or 'Increasing'), 'spiking up the prices', and 'literate about effects'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do highlight a lack of precision. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that word forms (e.g., 'democratic' vs 'democractic') are used correctly. Your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'every busisness key player has right' (missing article 'a'), 'government ensures that every busisness will be given level playing field' (missing article 'a'), and 'governments itself' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, there are frequent spelling errors like 'busisness', 'fot', 'surgar', and 'postitive'. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding your intended meaning. To improve, proofread your work carefully to catch basic subject-verb agreement and article usage errors.

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