Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, majority of industrially formulated food item have huge amounts of added sugars which are scientifically proven to be detrimental for human health. I firmly believe that the prices of these products should be increased to motivate the people to stop or reduce the consumption of sugars.

The first and foremost initiative that should have to be taken in order to save humanity from the drastic effects of added sugars in manufactured food is to encourage people to take foods with less sugar level. This can be done by increasing the prices of the high sugary products as it will impose financial pressure at the individuals. Thus. their frequency of eating such products will decline and ultimately their health will improve. This can be evidenced by a research in Nigeria that demonstrated that price is a one of of the major factors on which the decision of a purchase depends. Thus, if the items will be expensive their purchase would decrease.

Every nation is comprised of citizens earning average monthly salaries that could only be utilized to manage the expenses of grocery, electricity and gas bills, taxes and education of children. So if the high sugar intakes are to be controlled, the products having high levels of sugars should be made inaccessible to people.

To conclude, I would like to put forward that the sugar intakes can be reduced by making the high sugary manufactured foods expensive. The governments should increase the taxes on industries that will make the products expensive and the public should be made aware about the health complications caused by consumption of these high amounts of sugars.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have clearly stated your position in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay. The response addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of price on consumption. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph introduces a relevant point about financial pressure, but the third paragraph is slightly underdeveloped; it mentions the economic constraints of citizens but does not fully link this back to the effectiveness of the proposed tax policy. To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your central argument with more detailed explanation or nuanced reasoning rather than just stating the problem.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You have used some cohesive devices, such as 'The first and foremost initiative', 'Thus', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with punctuation, such as the sentence fragment 'Thus. their frequency of eating...', which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring correct sentence punctuation would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'industrially formulated', 'detrimental', and 'financial pressure'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'high sugary products' (better: 'high-sugar products') and 'take foods' (better: 'consume foods'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that word forms are used accurately in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. For example, 'majority of industrially formulated food item' should be 'the majority of... food items', and 'price is a one of of the major factors' contains unnecessary repetition. There are also issues with article usage and pluralization. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article consistency.

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