Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many manufacturer and entrepreneur in the contemporary times produce food and drinks containing excessive sugar contain, which leads to health problem and gaining excessive body fats. For that reason, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to avoid buying. As sugary items leads to gaining unwanted body fats, leads to causes of other various health problems and addiction in sugary items leads to avoiding healthy products.

Regarding, to the contemporary times many producers are manufacturing foods and drinks with excessive sugar contains, which can lead to health problems like diabetics, tooth decay and etc. Youths today are taking excessive sugar contain foods like chocolate, cakes and candies which often triggers teeth decay. Moreover, the number of diabetic patient and deaths related to diabetic has increased rapidly comparing to the previous generation. so increasing rate of sugary products is only the solution to avoid buying.

Turning to gaining of unwanted excessive body fat sugar is the number one reason to trigger such unhealthy bodies. Bodyfat not only changes peoples apperance but also greatly hamper cardio which is must needed while carrying daily activities, playing sports or even boosting testosterone. Fat people are often lazy which makes them prone to getting other diseases and even deaths in worse case scenario.

From my point, increasing rate of sugary item is a great solution to avoid excessive sugar intake. When the rate is high people usually go for other alternatives with lower rate. Youths today are often addicted to sugary products like cake, candy and artificial flavored drinks which is very risky on their health in a long run. Addiction in Sugary items leads to avoiding health products like fruits, grains and water, which is key to a healthy life.

In conclusion, Sugary products should need be made more exensive to avoid excessive sugar intake. As excessive sugar intake leads to gaining unwanted body fat, other health problems and addiction in sugary products leads to ignoring healthy products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, focusing on health consequences and the economic mechanism of taxation. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second and fourth paragraphs, which both focus on the same points regarding youth and sugar addiction. To reach a higher band, the arguments should be more distinct and better extended with specific, nuanced examples rather than repeating the same points. The conclusion is also quite repetitive, merely restating the introduction rather than synthesising the main arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. While there are some linking words like 'Moreover' and 'In conclusion', the transitions between sentences often feel mechanical or forced. For example, the start of the second paragraph, 'Regarding, to the contemporary times', is awkward and does not effectively introduce the topic. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow of ideas within paragraphs is occasionally disjointed, making the reader work harder to follow the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'excessive sugar contain' (should be 'content'), 'diabetic patient' (should be 'diabetic patients'), and 'increasing rate of sugary products' (should be 'increasing the price of'). The repetition of basic terms like 'sugary products', 'excessive', and 'health problems' limits the range. To improve, you should focus on using more precise terminology and avoiding grammatical errors in word forms, such as using 'fat' as an adjective versus 'obesity' as a noun.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('sugary items leads to'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('sugary products should need be made more exensive'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction, such as the fragment 'so increasing rate of sugary products is only the solution to avoid buying.' A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure is necessary to improve this score.

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