Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this passage we are discussing about the food and drinks manufactured by many companies which contain high levels of sugar which can cause many health issues. In my opinion they will have to make sugary products more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. These products have some advantages but on the other hand they also have a huge number of disadvantages which are as follows.

Firstly we are talking about the advantages like sugary products are very tasty which is main cause of their high selling, Secondly we can use it to treat some patients who have low sugar problem within seconds, It is easy to eat you do not need to much time for eating it specially in case you are hungry for example you will just have to go to the market purchase these products and then you can eat it which saves a lot of time and on last the energy drinks which contain sugar but it can help us to treat the patient of low blood pressure.

But on the other side it also have a huge number of disadvantages in which health issues are very serious according to some doctors and specialists these sugary products and specially cold drinks are very harmful for our bones and it can cause iron deficiency, Affecting the amount of vitamin d3 in the body, And also can cause permanent sugar problem like diabetes in which condition it makes you totally dependent on medicine and injection for lifetime.

In conclusion, After discussing about its positive and negative side I agreed in controlling the sugar products, Yes we can eat them and drink them on some special occasions and events but not on regular basis so we need to make sugary products more expensive and hard to get so people can avoid consuming large amount of sugar on their daily basis which is very beneficial for their health in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention advantages and disadvantages, the arguments lack depth and specific evidence. For instance, the claim that sugary products are used to treat patients with 'low sugar problems' is not well-explained or supported by credible reasoning. To reach a higher band, you should focus on expanding your arguments with more detailed explanations and logical connections to the core issue of taxation and consumer behavior. The conclusion is clear, but the overall development remains at a basic level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', but the flow between sentences is often disjointed. Some sentences are run-on, and the transition between the advantages and disadvantages is abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the pronoun 'it' is used repeatedly without a clear antecedent. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly improve the logical progression of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive language such as 'huge number of', 'very tasty', and 'very harmful'. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'sugar problem' instead of 'diabetes' or 'metabolic disorder'. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to health and economics, rather than relying on common, informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. You struggle with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it also have') and sentence boundaries, often using commas where full stops or semicolons are required. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of grammatical slips prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.

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