Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Sugar is also known as "white poison" due to its hazardous effects on human health. A lot of artificial food products contain high glucose which is very harmful for consumption especially when consumed on daily basis. One of the reasons why sugary products are so common is that they are usually cheap and affordable. This is why I agree that increasing the prices for these products may help consumers lower the amount of sugar from their diet.

Firstly, increasing the amount of sugary products may encourage the people to shift from artificial and industrial products to natural ones, which is always a healthier and a safer option. If high glucose products are expensive, consumers will look for alternative options that are comparatively cheaper. For instance, if governments increase sugar prices, mass will look for another sweetner which is jaggery. It is safer and has very benefits to human health in general.

Additionally, exess consumption of sugar is linked with many health issues. Every one in four adults in US is dibetic these days. Hospitals are always full and the culprit lies in our kitchens all the time. We may see a significant decrease in dibetic patients and improving the overall health of individuals, if they skip sugar from their diet. That's another fact for agreeing with the statement.

Overall, it may annoy some people who are addicted to sugary products and don't care about their health, but I beleive that increasing the prices for sugary products may bring us some very positive results in the longer run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided relevant reasons for your agreement, such as the potential for healthier dietary shifts and the reduction of health-related issues like diabetes. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the mention of 'jaggery' as an alternative is a good specific point, but the explanation of how price increases would affect consumer behavior could be more nuanced. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with more detailed analysis or broader implications, rather than relying on brief explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and you use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'Overall' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the transition between your arguments feels more natural rather than relying on a standard list-like structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'hazardous', 'artificial', and 'addicted'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'exess' instead of 'excess', 'dibetic' instead of 'diabetic', and 'sweetner' instead of 'sweetener'. These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, you should aim for more precise word choices and ensure accuracy in spelling. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations would also help elevate the tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'consumed on daily basis' (missing an article), 'has very benefits' (incorrect phrasing), and 'if they skip sugar from their diet' (awkward collocation). There are also minor punctuation and article errors throughout the text. While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.

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