Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In most of the country, many people are addicted to sugary products and this causes many health problems. However, many people thinks that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar products. This essay will argue that I strongly agree with this statement.
To begin with, in many country most of the individuals are eating sugary products every day, by eating this items this can cause many health problems. Nowadays, most of the people are with obese, diabetes and heart disease that is a major problem in people's life. This problem can makes people life more difficult by cannot go for any outdoor activity and cannot play with their children. For example, a person with high body fat cannot do their daily activity like playing game with friends or going for a running.
Furthermore, in many country people are buying less amount of sugary products, because the main authorities has increased the cost of the sugary products. By this way many people are encourage people to consume less sugar. For instance, in America most of the sugary products cost has been increase and the consumption of this sugary items has decreased by a huge number.
In conclusion, in most of the country they have introduced high cost in the sugary products, while this invention most of the people are able to reduce the use of sugar in their daily life. By this way most of the people are able to maintain their health and can do their daily activities easily.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health problems like obesity and diabetes, the explanation of how price increases specifically lead to behavioral changes is quite brief and repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced arguments or explore potential counter-arguments. The examples provided, such as the reference to America, are relevant but lack specific detail or depth. The response is a bit simplistic in its reasoning, which prevents it from reaching the higher bands where more sophisticated analysis is expected.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. There is a logical progression from the problem to the proposed solution. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used correctly but are quite basic. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are slightly abrupt, and the referencing (e.g., 'this invention') is occasionally unclear or unnatural. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. However, the range is limited, and there is significant repetition of words like 'sugary products', 'people', and 'many'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'most of the people are with obese' instead of 'suffer from obesity'. To improve, you should aim to use a wider range of synonyms and more precise academic vocabulary. Avoid repeating the same phrases multiple times in a single paragraph, as this makes the writing feel less sophisticated and less fluent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('many people thinks', 'this problem can makes') and incorrect pluralization ('in many country'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositions ('the consumption of this sugary items'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement and ensure that your sentence structures are grammatically sound before attempting more complex forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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