Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Sugar is added to many manufactured foods and drinks, which can have harmful effects on people's health. Some people believe that sugary products should be made more expensive to discourage people from consuming too much sugar. However, I largely disagree with this view because it could negatively affect the food industry, while wealthier people would remain largely unaffected and lower-income groups would bear the burden.
The primary reason for my disagreement is that increasing the price of sugary products could have a negative impact on the food industry. If these products become significantly more expensive, consumers may reduce their purchases, leading to lower sales. As a result, shopkeepers, bakery owners, ice cream vendors, manufacturers, and other businesses that rely on the sale of sugary products could experience financial losses. For example, in Pakistan, many bakeries, confectionery shops, and dessert businesses depend heavily on the sale of sweet products. A sharp increase in prices could reduce customer demand and harm these businesses.
Another important reason is that raising the price of sugary products would not affect everyone equally. Wealthy people would still be able to afford these items without changing their eating habits. In contrast, middle- and lower-income families would be the ones most affected by higher prices. Instead of increasing prices, governments should focus on educating the public about the health risks of excessive sugar consumption. They can achieve this through television advertisements, awareness campaigns, and clear warning labels on products that contain high amounts of sugar. Such measures would encourage people to make healthier choices without placing an unfair financial burden on those with lower incomes.
In conclusion, I disagree with the idea of making sugary products more expensive to reduce sugar consumption. This policy could damage the food industry while placing a greater burden on lower-income consumers, whereas wealthier individuals would be largely unaffected. Public education and health awareness campaigns would be a more effective and fairer way to encourage healthier lifestyles.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
You have fully addressed the prompt by taking a clear position and supporting it with two distinct, well-developed arguments: the economic impact on businesses and the issue of social inequality. Your introduction clearly outlines your stance, and the body paragraphs provide relevant examples, such as the mention of bakeries in Pakistan, which adds depth to your argument. The conclusion effectively synthesizes your points. To reach a higher band, you could further explore the counter-argument by briefly acknowledging why some might support the tax, before refuting it, which would demonstrate a more nuanced engagement with the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you use cohesive devices such as 'The primary reason', 'Another important reason', and 'In contrast' effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate your introduction, body points, and conclusion. The flow between sentences is smooth, and the relationship between ideas is always clear. The use of referencing is precise, ensuring that the reader can easily follow your line of reasoning throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary that is appropriate for an academic essay. Phrases like 'bear the burden', 'excessive sugar consumption', and 'financial losses' are used accurately. You show an ability to use less common items, such as 'confectionery' and 'unfair financial burden'. While the vocabulary is sufficient and precise, it is generally functional rather than highly sophisticated. To move into the higher bands, you could incorporate more idiomatic collocations or nuanced academic synonyms to add greater flair and precision to your arguments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
Your writing displays a good command of grammatical structures. You use a mix of simple and complex sentences effectively, such as the conditional structure 'If these products become significantly more expensive, consumers may reduce their purchases'. Punctuation is accurate, and there are very few grammatical errors. The majority of your sentences are error-free, which is a hallmark of a strong performance. To achieve a higher score, you could experiment with a wider variety of complex structures, such as inversion or more advanced passive constructions, to demonstrate even greater flexibility.
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