Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A number of people argues that consuming sugar increases their energy without realizing that they are actually mixing informations between the natural sugar and added sugar. I believe that added sugar products are unnecessary when the natural sugar already exists.
When we ask people about their knowledge on sugary products it is mostly about the artificial sugar, that are manufactured in the laboratory to mimic the taste of the original sucrose. The raw sugar which can be found in fruits and some vegetables proving its non-synthetic side is actually the authentic product which makes us more energetic after consuming it. Consumers should start educating themselves on the products history and ingredients before they actually make a purchase which can eventually cost their well being in the future.
Although, added sugar products has its own pros: less calories, not raising blood sugar, and more sweeter taste. The consequences of preferring it for a consistent amount of time is much more higher risk. Such as, heart problem and gut health which are already one of the biggest concern in the medical industry. However, if we dig into the reason why people prefer them over a more healthier side. The answer is obvious, the price. In this current economy, individuals would rather choose the less expensive side no matter how many other healthy options exist.
In conclusion, If we want humans to be more healthy in a long term, making added sugary products more expensive would encourage people to choose the healthier options.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing the price of sugary products. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health risks and the economic factor of price, the arguments remain quite general. For instance, the discussion on 'natural' versus 'added' sugar is interesting but does not directly address the core of the prompt regarding the effectiveness of a 'sugar tax' as a policy. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical steps explaining how price changes would influence consumer behavior in a real-world context.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition 'Although, added sugar products has its own pros' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical progression. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is limited; you rely heavily on simple connectors. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to your main thesis. The conclusion is present but could be more effectively linked to the preceding arguments.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, you use 'mixing informations' (information is uncountable) and 'more sweeter' (a double comparative). You also use 'the products history' instead of 'the product's history'. While you attempt to use more academic terms like 'sucrose' and 'synthetic', these are occasionally used in contexts that feel slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations for common academic topics and pay closer attention to the pluralization of uncountable nouns.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('A number of people argues' should be 'argue'), incorrect verb forms ('proving its non-synthetic side' is a fragment), and punctuation errors. The sentence 'The consequences of preferring it for a consistent amount of time is much more higher risk' is particularly problematic due to the double comparative and subject-verb disagreement. You need to focus on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading to ensure that your complex structures are formed correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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