Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Most of the commercial food and drinks have excessive amount of sugar in them, which can cause serious health issues. This essay agrees with both views, sugar based items should be expensive to promote less consumption of sugar because it can prevent from chronic diseases and increase the fertility rate, but it can cause disadvantages for businesses and can drop the economy.
The benefit of increasing amount of sugar products is that it can decrease the chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart issues and obesity. Initially, consuming processed food such as burgers, pizzas and soft drinks on daily bases can cause the insulin resistance, which can make the reason of type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Moreover, other than diabetes obesity is the serious concern of today's generation, while raise in factory-based food prices can make it difficult to buy for local people which can prevent them from health problems. Lastly, these health issues can cause the infertility in generation which can reduce the birth rate. For instance, Asian countries prefer homemade food over artificial food which increase fertility, so they have more young people than Europe countries.
The disadvantage of raising prices of manufactured food is that it can be harmful for different food businesses and can effect the country's economy. Firstly, there are most of the countries in the world whose economy depend on restaurants and local food marketing, if the industrial food will be expensive than people will avoid buying junk food which can shut down the food restaurants and food markets. Furthermore, this can also effect the food manufacturing industries by reducing profit rate, which can cause serious economic issues.
In conclusion, this essay believes, although increasing rate of manufactured food can be beneficial for controlling diseases and increasing fertility rate, but it an also cause economic issues by shut down the food markets.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the health benefits of taxing sugary products and the potential economic drawbacks. However, the position is slightly contradictory; the introduction states the essay agrees with both views, but the prompt asks for a clear position on whether sugary products should be made more expensive. While the ideas are relevant, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding the link between sugar and diabetes. The argument regarding fertility is an interesting point but lacks sufficient evidence or logical connection to be fully convincing. To reach a higher band, ensure your position is consistent throughout and provide more nuanced development of your main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Lastly', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the conclusion is slightly weak as it merely restates the body paragraphs without synthesizing the argument effectively. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved by varying the structure of the opening clauses to avoid repetitive sentence starts.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'increase the fertility rate' (which is a biological outcome rather than a direct result of sugar consumption) and 'local food marketing' (which is likely meant to be 'food service industry'). Phrases like 'factory-based food' are understandable but not standard collocations. To improve, focus on using more precise academic terminology and refining collocations to sound more natural in an argumentative context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'can make the reason of type 1 and type 2 diabetes' (should be 'can cause') and 'if the industrial food will be expensive' (should be 'is'). Additionally, there are minor issues with articles and prepositions, such as 'the serious concern of today's generation' and 'effect the country's economy' (should be 'affect'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of 'affect' versus 'effect' would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.