Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is argued that many health issues arise due to excessive level of sugar contained in manufactured food and beverages products. I completely agree with the statement because this will prevent the excessive consumption of the unhealthy consumables and inspire people to choose healthier alternatives.

The primary reason why I believe that high prices of sugary products discourage people from buying these items frequently as it motivates people to purchase less sugary product and choose cheaper and healthier options. For instance, if soft drinks become significantly expensive then people will start buying water or fruit juice which are healthier.

Another reason is that increased price can help to reduce the consumption of sugary product may reduce the risk of health-related issues. Excessive amount of sugar consumption can cause obesity, and also exacerbate the condition of diabetics. If people reduce their sugar intake by choosing alternative options like water and fruit juice, then their life becomes healthier. For example, children consume sugary drinks regularly and develop unhealthy eating habits, but encouraging them to drink fruit juice or water can help them to live a better life. As a result, this will also reduce the pressure on health care sector.

In a conclusion, increasing price of sugary products can encourage people to avoid or reduce the consumption of products which are unhealthy and can lower the risk of health problems; therefore, I totally agree with the given opinion as it motivates people to choose healthier and better alternatives. I believe that this measure will educate public for choosing healthy diet and can help people to live a healthy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have clearly stated your position in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay. The main ideas—that higher prices discourage consumption and reduce health risks—are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument about choosing 'water or fruit juice' is mentioned in both body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your ideas with more varied supporting evidence or deeper analysis of the economic and social implications, rather than restating the same points. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, though it introduces a new point about 'educating the public' which was not previously discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'The primary reason', 'Another reason', and 'In a conclusion' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For example, the phrase 'if people reduce their sugar intake' is used in a way that creates a slightly circular argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds upon the previous one more naturally would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'exacerbate', 'obesity', and 'health-related issues' appropriately. However, there is a tendency to repeat basic words such as 'sugary products' and 'healthier'. To improve, try to use synonyms or more precise collocations to avoid redundancy. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'manufactured food and beverages products' (the word 'products' is redundant here) and 'educate public' (which should be 'educate the public'). Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated, topic-specific collocations would help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips throughout the text. For example, 'excessive level of sugar' should be 'excessive levels of sugar', and 'if soft drinks become significantly expensive then people will start...' requires a comma after the 'if' clause. Additionally, 'the condition of diabetics' is slightly awkward; 'the condition of people with diabetes' would be more accurate. You have good control over basic grammar, but increasing the variety of complex structures and proofreading for minor errors in articles and pluralization would improve your accuracy.

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