Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems.

Sugary products be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

I think more important is government should banning that type of products that causes alot of diseases like obesity and diabetes. People should eat healthy food and do exercise daily or they should walk daily and make the sleep routine perfect.

I agree with this statement.

If manufacturers play with the health of people then they have to submit penality. No one has right to do this. Those businesses should stop. Healthy items should make and deliver to everyone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 108 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you state your position clearly, the ideas are significantly underdeveloped. You mention government intervention and health consequences, but these points lack the necessary elaboration, examples, and logical progression required for an academic essay. To improve, you must expand each main point with supporting evidence and detailed explanations to reach the required length and depth of analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction, body paragraphs, or conclusion. The sentences are presented as a series of disjointed statements rather than a cohesive argument. There is a lack of cohesive devices (such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'however') to link ideas together. To improve, you should organize your response into four or five distinct paragraphs and use transition words to guide the reader through your argument logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'healthy food' and 'bad'. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'submit penality' instead of 'pay a penalty' or 'face a fine'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary related to public health, economics, and government policy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'Sugary products be made' (missing auxiliary verb), 'government should banning' (incorrect verb form), and 'Healthy items should make' (passive voice error). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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