Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, many foods and beverages are made with high proportions of sugary products, which leads to various health problems. It is suggested that increasing the price of those products can prevent people from purchasing them and will help them to have a healthier food habit. I fully agree with this statement and will elaborate this on this essay.

To begin with, it is verified that excessive sugar consumption leads to numerous mental and physical health issues, such as obesity, diabetes and heart diseases. Raising the price of these products can discourage them from buying sugar-containing products. This economic rule can be a solution to the problem and it will help them to follow a healthier lifestyle. For example, in Europe taxes on sugary products are higher than in the United States. This connects with low sugar consumption, equally healthier lifestyle. Also in countries like Japan and Korea sugary products are more expensive and not as much as available as it is in United States. This is the main factor of their longer life expectancy.

Moreover, this initial step has some benefits too. The extra revenue gained from higher taxes could be used to improve the healthcare sector. People can get proper treatment for such problems, costing very little.

Overall, raising the price of sugary products are not the only solution. We should raise awareness of the side effects of sweetened product consumption. Furthermore, we have to be careful about our daily dietary habits. We should limit our sugar usage as much as we can.

Therefore, I strongly support the concept that making sugary products more expensive can reduce the consumption of food and drinks which contain higher levels of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have clearly stated your position and addressed the prompt by discussing the economic approach to reducing sugar consumption. You provided relevant examples, such as the comparison between Europe, the US, and Asian countries. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about revenue generation is mentioned but not fully explored in terms of its impact on public health policy. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is expanded with more depth and logical explanation. Your conclusion is clear, but the overall argument could be more nuanced by acknowledging potential counter-arguments before refuting them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of taxes and the mention of Japan/Korea is slightly abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea to improve the overall structure and progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'excessive sugar consumption', 'life expectancy', and 'healthcare sector'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'sugary products' and 'products'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms or paraphrasing techniques. There are also minor issues with collocation, such as 'not as much as available as it is in United States', which sounds unnatural. Expanding your range of academic collocations and precise terminology would help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'raising the price of sugary products are not the only solution' contains a subject-verb agreement error (should be 'is'). Additionally, 'elaborate this on this essay' is grammatically incorrect. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of complex sentence construction to ensure accuracy in more sophisticated structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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