Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

An escalating consumption of packaged food among people has become an alarming concern these days. Unchecked intake of products containing more sugar ingredients are a serious threat to health. So,raising the prices of such products would abate its usage among consumers.

As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that making sugary products more expensive would make it less accessible to the individuals, thus , delines its intake. In the past, preserved food was less accessible as compared to the present times as majority of people were unaware of these products. But now with so much advancement in food industry and wholsome production of sugar contained products and an ease to its reach to public made it a part of daily eating habits, which causes serious health issues like diabetes nad blood-pressure among individuals. For an instance, according to WHO publishings, more young people are having diabetic and blood-pressure related issues as compared to the past. One obvious reason for such a rise in the ratio is uncaterd usage of products containing large sugar proportions in the daily lives. In my opinion, to cut down the excessive consumption of artificially manufactured foods to inculcate healthy eating habits among indivduals, it is necessary to make sugary products more expensive to drastically minimize its reach to consumers. As a result of this, majority of the people would shift their focus to healthy eating habits.

To conclude, I would say that though majority of human beings are more inclined towards manufacture food items these days but making its less accessible would dramatically abate its usage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing prices to reduce sugar consumption. The main ideas are relevant, such as the link between processed food and health issues like diabetes. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, and the argument lacks depth. For instance, the discussion on historical accessibility is a bit vague and does not fully explore the economic implications or potential counter-arguments. While the position is consistent, the supporting evidence is limited to general statements rather than well-developed examples, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, though the structure is quite basic. There is a logical progression of ideas, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the use of 'For an instance' and 'As a result of this'. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The concluding paragraph is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a final thought that adds value to the argument. Paragraphing is present but could be more balanced.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors, such as 'wholsome', 'nad', 'uncaterd', and 'indivduals'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'sugar contained products' instead of 'sugar-laden products' or 'sugar-rich products'. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the frequent spelling mistakes and limited range of collocations restrict the score. The student relies on basic phrasing to convey ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'delines its intake' (should be 'declines') and 'making its less accessible' (should be 'making it'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic subject-verb agreement and word form prevents the essay from demonstrating the control required for a higher band. More attention to proofreading is needed.

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