Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Yes, I totally agree with you that, many manufactured food and drinks products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems like sugar, diabetes, high sugar level and fat in the body and many more health problems, so we should boycott these things for our healthcare and our parents healthcare and our brothers and sisters and children's healthcare and the companies should manufacture food and drinks with less sugar level to avoid health problems such as sugar, diabetes and high sugar level which can lead to serious health care problems, which is very dangerous for us and our body both physically and mentally because sugar causes fat on the body and people with high fat on their body cannot run and play any favorite sports and sometimes they can't even walk properly due to high percentage of fat on their body and when their is high fat on someone's body it's obvious that their weight will also be very high and that's not good, sometimes many people make fun of people with high weight and fat they bully them and then the people who have high weight and high fat on their body get depressed because of the bullying and that's not fair, I also have a friend who is fat because he eat food and drink something that has very high sugar, so because of the drink and food which he eat contains high sugar that's why his weight is very high and he is fat and he also have some health problems because of eating things that contains too much sugar, that's why manufacturered food and drinks should contain less sugar level and should be expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by expressing agreement with the proposal to increase the price of sugary products. However, the development is limited. The essay consists of a single, long paragraph that lacks a clear structure or distinct supporting arguments. While you mention health issues and bullying, these points are repetitive and lack depth. To improve, you should organize your ideas into clear paragraphs—one for the health benefits of the tax and one for the economic or social implications—and provide more sophisticated reasoning beyond personal anecdotes about a friend.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is written as one continuous block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of paragraphing, which is essential for a formal essay. Furthermore, the flow of ideas is hampered by the overuse of 'and' and 'so' as the primary connectors. There is very little use of cohesive devices to link sentences or ideas logically. To reach a higher band, you must use a variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition') and organize your response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple words like 'fat', 'high', and 'things'. There is a lack of academic or precise terminology related to the topic, such as 'obesity', 'fiscal policy', 'public health', or 'nutritional value'. You also repeat the same phrases, such as 'high sugar level' and 'high fat on their body', multiple times. To improve, try to incorporate more varied and topic-specific vocabulary to express your ideas with greater precision and avoid unnecessary repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay is composed almost entirely of run-on sentences, where multiple clauses are joined by 'and' or 'so' without proper punctuation. This makes the text difficult to read and grammatically incorrect. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'he eat food', 'he also have') and article usage. The range of structures is very limited, relying heavily on simple, repetitive sentence patterns. You need to focus on using full stops to separate ideas and practicing correct verb conjugations to improve your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.