Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

food and drink products contain high level of sugar causes many health problems .companies should made more expensive products to encourage people to use less sugar peoducts.

I belief sugary products should be more expensive so that one should avoid them but its not in the manufactured compancies hand its in our own hands we need to focuse on our health and decide what to eat and drink. I strongly disagree with this because rather rising the produts prices we should make awernes to the people and tell them that what kind of health issues they gonna faces if they kept using the sugary products . by awerness means doing sceminars or arraging podcasts on tv so that people should know the importance of thier health.

one of my close friend use to eat chocolatets she loves to eat them all the time now i can't ask the company to please make more expensive chocolates because ones someone like something he/she can buy it at any cost ...any ways so i have to tell her that these are not good for your health i tell the different storties abouy how someone eat alot chocolates and he/she got diabaties and the othe person got some dangerous health isses as well because if you kept eating this. This can cause you seriouse health problems as well like gain alot of weight you already got teeth problems so need to stop by elling her all these thing she finnaly understand and promise me to not to eat chocolates anymore.

in my oppinion expensive products can not help but by telling the pros and cons can help them to avoid them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against the proposed price increase, favoring public awareness instead. However, the development is limited. The argument relies heavily on a single personal anecdote about a friend eating chocolates, which lacks the depth and breadth required for an academic essay. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, and the explanation of why price increases would be ineffective is not fully explored. To improve, you should provide more generalized, logical arguments—such as the economic impact on low-income families or the potential for black markets—rather than focusing solely on individual behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no formal introduction or conclusion, and the body paragraphs are not clearly delineated. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often mechanical or misused (e.g., 'any ways so i have to tell her'). The progression of ideas is disjointed, moving abruptly from the prompt to a personal story without effective transition. To improve, you must organize your response into distinct paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a conclusion. Use linking words like 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' or 'on the other hand' to connect your ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'peoducts,' 'awernes,' 'sceminars,' 'diabaties,' 'storties,' 'oppinion') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'rather rising the produts prices' instead of 'rather than raising'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient for an academic task, as you rely on simple, everyday language. To reach a higher band, you need to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary related to health, economics, and public policy, while ensuring accurate spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede readability. There are significant issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and fragments (e.g., 'food and drink products contain high level of sugar causes many health problems'). Punctuation is largely ignored, with missing capital letters and incorrect comma usage throughout. Verb tense consistency is also a problem (e.g., 'one of my close friend use to eat'). You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions before attempting more complex structures.

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