Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Numerous manufactured food and drink products consist of high levels of sugar, which leads to many health issues. Certain individuals argue that sugary products should be made more expensive to persuade people into consuming less sugar. I personally agree with the fact that they should raise the prices of sugary products because if commercial enterprises decide to raise the prices of their sugary products, it will discourage customers from buying sugary products and buy healthier alternatives instead.
When businesses increase the prices of their high-sugar products, it will discourage people from buying the products as they are highly expensive. When the prices are raised, customers will realize that they have been buying unhealthy items and start working on their diet. For instance, when a candy shop raises the prices of their lollipops, parents will stop buying from the shop and kids will get used to eating without sugar. As a result, the kids build a healthier diet.
Another advantage of increasing the price of sugary products is that it may encourage consumers to choose healthier alternatives. When raising prices of a certain product high in sugar, customers may find similar products that contain less sugar, reducing their overall sugar intake. For example, if a restaurant starts significantly raising their prices, customers will stop buying and start finding other restaurants that might contain less sugar. As a result, customers will be healthier and consume more nutritious foods.
In conclusion, although raising prices of sugary content can cause a negative impact on businesses, it can encourage people to start buying healthier alternatives and stop buying high-sugar products.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have addressed the prompt clearly and maintained a consistent position throughout the essay. You provided relevant arguments regarding price sensitivity and the shift toward healthier alternatives. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the second and third paragraphs both focus on the concept of 'discouraging' consumers, and the examples provided (candy shops and restaurants) are a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to explore the broader implications of such a policy, such as the economic impact on low-income families or the potential for government revenue to be reinvested into public health initiatives, rather than repeating the same point in different words.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'When,' 'For instance,' and 'As a result' to link your ideas. However, the progression of ideas feels a bit mechanical, and the transitions between sentences are sometimes repetitive. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive markers to connect your arguments more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately, which helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'manufactured food,' 'sugar intake,' and 'nutritious foods.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a high degree of repetition, particularly with the words 'sugary products,' 'prices,' and 'buying.' To improve, try to use synonyms or paraphrasing to avoid repeating the same phrases. There are no significant spelling errors, but the word choice is often functional rather than sophisticated or precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your grammar is generally accurate and communication is never impeded, there is a lack of variety in your sentence construction. Many sentences follow a similar pattern (e.g., 'When... it will...'). You have good control over basic punctuation and subject-verb agreement. To achieve a higher score, you should attempt to incorporate more varied complex structures, such as conditional clauses (e.g., 'Were the government to implement a sugar tax, the impact would be...') or passive voice constructions to add sophistication to your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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