Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Numerous manufactured food and drink products consist of high levels of sugar, which leads to many health issues. Certain individuals argue that sugary products should be made more expensive to persuade people into consuming less sugar. I personally agree with the fact that they should raise the prices of sugary products because if commercial enterprises decide to raise the prices of their sugary products, it will discourage customers from buying sugary products and encourage them to buy healthier alternatives instead.

When businesses increase the prices of their high-sugar products, it will discourage people from buying the products as they are highly expensive. When the prices are raised, customers will realize that they have been buying unhealthy items and start working on their diet. For instance, when a candy shop raises the prices of their lollipops, parents will stop buying from the shop and kids will get used to eating without sugar. As a result, the kids build a healthier diet.

Another advantage of increasing the price of sugary products is that it may encourage consumers to choose healthier alternatives. When raising prices of a certain product high in sugar, customers may find similar products that contain less sugar, reducing their overall sugar intake. For example, if a restaurant starts significantly raising their prices, customers will stop buying and start finding other restaurants that might contain less sugar. As a result, customers will be healthier and consume more nutritious foods.

In conclusion, although raising prices of sugary content can cause a negative impact on businesses, it can encourage people to start buying healthier alternatives and stop buying high-sugar products.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.5
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument that higher prices lead to healthier choices is restated in both body paragraphs without significant expansion or the introduction of new perspectives, such as the potential impact on low-income families or the effectiveness of alternative measures like education. While the position is clear, the supporting examples, such as the 'candy shop' scenario, are simplistic and lack the depth required for a higher band score. To improve, you should explore the broader implications of the policy rather than focusing solely on the direct price-demand relationship.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'For instance,' 'Another advantage,' and 'As a result' to link sentences. However, the cohesion is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional but lacks sophistication. To reach a higher band, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid. The concluding paragraph is a bit brief and merely summarizes the previous points without adding a final, insightful thought.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You frequently repeat words like 'sugary products,' 'prices,' and 'buying.' While the meaning is always clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. For example, instead of repeating 'sugary products' multiple times, you could use terms like 'confectionery,' 'saccharine beverages,' or 'processed items.' To improve, focus on using synonyms and more precise academic collocations to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the grammar is generally accurate and communication is not impeded, there is a lack of variety in sentence construction. Many sentences follow a similar 'When... then...' or 'If... then...' pattern. There are occasional minor errors, such as 'I personally agree with the fact that they should raise the prices,' which is slightly wordy. To achieve a higher score, incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as passive voice or conditional clauses, and ensure that your sentence structure is more varied to maintain reader interest.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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