Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believe that majority of the food and drink producs are contained significant amount of sugar, which lead to many chronic health diesease, while it should be taken necessory actions to mitigate the sugar product consumption from genearl public, so that the product price should be much higher to discourage pople to buy them. This essay will agree with that sugar produces should be more expensive and strong mechanism to avoide excessive buying.

To begin with, one of the primary reasons is that sugar producs have many consequences such as non transmitable dieseas such as diabitics, obesity and many more. Most of the children have become victims of consuming sugar product and some experts say that this trend will be a catastropical effect in future. Moreover, many research has highlited that sugar products are the main reasons for diying many people daily with chonical illnesses. Therefore, it is essential to give more awareness about how sugar is affecting to human day to day lives, and what are the key consernce can be seen.

Furthermore, another significant aspect to consider is that how to prevent buying suger product from the normal public. One strong suggestion is that incrase the price as per percentage of the suger contained in each produc and people will realy sensitive on the price, and this will be one of the key initiation. Alterantively, some countries have introduce the sticker system to show to suger contained in the lable and people can see when they buy the producs. The strong laws should be implimented to discurage the manufactuing and advertising the sugary products will be ideal.

In conclusion, this essay has argued that sugary product should be expansive for general public to avoide overuse, although sugar is part of daily life. If government could implimente additonal tax on sugar product the consumtioned would drastically decrase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating an agreement with the proposed tax on sugary products. The main ideas—health consequences and economic disincentives—are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you mention health issues like 'diabitics' and 'obesity', the explanation remains superficial. The suggestion to increase prices is a good point, but it lacks depth in terms of how this would practically function or what the potential counter-arguments might be. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example to support your claims, rather than just listing ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to transition between ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Some cohesive devices are used mechanically, and the connection between sentences is sometimes weak, such as in the second paragraph where the transition to 'awareness' feels slightly disconnected from the previous point about health consequences. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors that distract the reader, such as 'producs', 'dieseas', 'diabitics', 'catastropical', 'diying', 'chonical', 'consernce', 'suger', 'produc', 'realy', 'implimente', and 'consumtioned'. These errors are numerous and sometimes impede the clarity of your message. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'mitigate', 'non-transmittable', and 'excessive', the high frequency of basic spelling mistakes limits your score. Focus on proofreading your work to correct these common errors, as accurate spelling is essential for higher band scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('sugar products are the main reasons for diying many people') and article usage ('the majority of the food'). Additionally, some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'while it should be taken necessory actions to mitigate the sugar product consumption'. These errors occur frequently and occasionally make the meaning difficult to grasp. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures. Careful editing for grammar is necessary to move to a higher band.

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