Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The use of sugar has been increased all over the world by the past 10 to 15 years. Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which results in many health problems. The most common one is diabetes.

Some people say that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

In my opinion, unusual sugary products should be made much more expensive so that people can't consume much sugar.

It has become the need of hour to discourage the use of sugar because the ratio of diabetes patients has been increasing enormously. We should compel people to not use products which contain large quantity of sugar like juices, chocolates, sweet breads and soft drinks.

It can cause obesity which is also known as the mother of all diseases. I would like to explain it with an example of myself, I used to have soft drinks and chocolates daily in an excessive quantity. The sugar drinks have large number of calories and deleterious effects on our health, as a result of having these sugary products I became obese and was diagnosed as pre-diabetic. After the diagnosis, I took it very seriously and cut off the use of sugar in my daily life. It was much difficult, but I didn't give up and lose much weight. Now I'm fine and have controlled my sugar cravings a lot.

If we increase the price of sugar containing products, most people wouldn't buy it and as a result its use would be decreased, and less people would become the victim of its disastrous effects. So, I agree to this point of view.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided relevant reasons for your agreement, such as the health risks of sugar and the potential for price increases to curb consumption. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you include a personal example, the essay would benefit from more generalized arguments regarding the economic or social implications of such a tax. The conclusion is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is more characteristic of a Band 6, as some points are stated rather than fully explored or supported with broader evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'as a result' and 'in my opinion', to link your thoughts. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition between the personal anecdote and the final argument could be smoother. Paragraphing is present, but the structure within the paragraphs could be more sophisticated to improve the flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'deleterious', 'enormously', and 'obesity'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor collocation errors, such as 'unusual sugary products' (which is unclear) and 'the need of hour' (which should be 'the need of the hour'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these inaccuracies occasionally affect the precision of your expression. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more naturally and ensuring that your vocabulary choices are contextually accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'The use of sugar has been increased' (passive voice error), 'It was much difficult' (should be 'very difficult'), and 'less people' (should be 'fewer people'). These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of comparatives, and the distinction between countable and uncountable nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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