Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Yes i agree that many reproduced eating items and drink items having high level of sugar, which may cause health risks. Sugar items should not be affordable for customers, that's why they can eat up less sugar. overall, this paragraph i about sugar side effects on customers and precautions to control less consumption of sugar.

Sugar is booster to make immediate energetic. that's why many people prefer to use more sweet items when they feel low energy in their body. however other bakery biscuit, sweets, cakes and pastries are considered faster booster for consuming sugar. Most of individuals do prefer to keep having any sweet candy with them in every time. In my opinion, Sugar made items or sweet foods should more expensive or not affordable, which all individuals having no power to buy easily and Government should take precautions for it. Despite of this, for taking sugary items, other natural sweet foods or items should be encouraged to use rather than usage of manufactured sweet items, which high risk of increasing sugar level in body insulin.

i have an example regarding negative side effects for using too much sugar. For instance, when i was student of graduation, my one class fellow was sweet lover, she also buys any sweet item even after every lecture. In the mid of masters, she was suffering from high level of blood Sugar. After it she was also suffering other diseases in teen age because sugar makes a basic or foundation for other diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position in favor of increasing the price of sugary products. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention health risks and government intervention, the arguments lack depth and academic rigor. The example provided regarding your classmate is personal and anecdotal, which is acceptable but needs to be better integrated into a broader argument about public health policy. The essay structure is somewhat repetitive, and the introduction does not effectively outline the main points. To improve, focus on expanding your arguments with more logical reasoning and clearer supporting evidence rather than just stating opinions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often disjointed. You use some cohesive devices like 'however' and 'for instance', but they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that does not logically connect the preceding and following sentences. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'sugar', 'items', and 'sweet', which restricts your ability to express complex ideas precisely. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'reproduced eating items' instead of 'processed food products' and 'Sugar is booster to make immediate energetic' instead of 'Sugar provides an immediate energy boost'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more academic vocabulary and collocations related to health, economics, and public policy, while ensuring that your word choices are accurate and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with article usage ('the'/'a'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For instance, 'Sugar made items or sweet foods should more expensive' is missing a verb, and 'in every time' is an incorrect prepositional phrase. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'which all individuals having no power to buy easily'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb forms and prepositions, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.