Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are consuming lot of sugar in their routine life due to highly manufacturing of products which contain too much of sugar and which effect and cause several health issues. In the further paragraph we will discuss about it and I strongly agree with the given statement that the high sugar product prices should have a great spike.

The average percentage of people consuming sugar per day is above an average and talking about children they consume more than a adult. The food and drinks which contain high amount of sugar can effect our digestive system and the soluble fat which are in our stomach are not able to dissolved. Consuming a lot of sugar can cause diabetics and obesity which can cause too much health issues. For children who consume too much sugar cause cough and infections.

However, increasing the price of sugary products could make some people consume less sugar. If any person like sugary products they can eat natural sugar like eating mangoes,honey or other which contain natural sweetness rather than artificial ones. For instance, in my college we had given project on this topic of finding how many people consume sugar in day to day life the graph were on the great increment the average person consuming sugar is 10 g per day which is usually above an average and on other hand children consuming the sugar were also high.

Overall, consuming sugar can effect our health in any kind of age which can cause several health issue and by increasing the price of sugary product is a great idea so that people can consume less sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing prices on sugary products. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health issues like diabetes and obesity, the explanation of why price increases would effectively curb consumption is underdeveloped. The example provided regarding a college project is somewhat anecdotal and lacks a strong connection to the broader economic argument. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a clear, logical link between the proposed solution (taxation/price hikes) and the desired outcome (reduced consumption), rather than focusing primarily on the health effects of sugar itself.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition 'In the further paragraph' is unnatural, and the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the link between 'soluble fat' and the digestive system is scientifically vague and confusing. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows logically from the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation. For example, you use 'highly manufacturing' instead of 'high levels of manufacturing' and 'effect' instead of the verb 'affect'. Phrases like 'great spike' and 'on the great increment' are not standard academic collocations. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure you are using the correct word forms (e.g., noun vs. verb). Expanding your range to include more sophisticated synonyms for common words will also help.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children... consume... than a adult'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing such as 'we had given project'. There are also issues with pluralization and verb tense consistency. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like 'a/an' and plural forms will be beneficial.

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