Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Several products of foods and drinks which contain high level of sugar can cause severe threats in many health problems. Moreover sugar products should be produce more costly to encourage every individuals to consume less sugar. I totally agree with this given statement because the less use sugar the more people get healthy.

To initiate with, some countries such as Germany and US are already held programs which all manufacture firms was attend and try to get involve less sugar rather than more. enormous food and drinks products which contain high sugar should be made or manufacture more costly in order to encourage individuals to buy less products. However children like sweets and the survey found that 90% of the world, child contain more sweet products, to address this issue parents should keep eye on them.

On the other hand, administration should banned those product which contain massive amount to sugar because that product can individually hazardous individual's health. Furthermore, in this modern era, peoples are getting more health related issues such as dabetes, because they consume more sugary products. Many medical assistance can claim that sugar is actually harmful to our whole bod in fact, many sugar products made form artificial and that are actually impact our immune system policymakers should be banned on those artificial products.

In conclusion, eating sugar is excellent, however consume sugar at massive amount can impact massive way. Moreover the government can alter the price and the products became more costly, as a result many individuals consume less sugary products which is very beneficial for our nations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you mention the economic approach (taxation) and the health consequences, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the mention of Germany and the US is vague and does not clearly explain how their programs function. The conclusion contradicts itself by stating 'eating sugar is excellent' after arguing it is harmful, which weakens the overall task response. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported point that directly reinforces your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the flow between and within sentences is often mechanical or confusing. Transitions like 'To initiate with' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as '90% of the world, child contain more sweet products'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally would help improve the logical flow of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'produce more costly' instead of 'made more expensive', and 'medical assistance can claim' instead of 'medical experts suggest'. You also use 'massive' repeatedly, which limits the range of your expression. Spelling errors like 'dabetes' and 'bod' further detract from the quality of the writing. To reach a higher band, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('all manufacture firms was attend'), pluralisation ('every individuals'), and sentence structure ('the less use sugar the more people get healthy'). While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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