Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days, it is actually pretty common to see that almost every processed food as well as beverages contain a huge amount of sugar than required. Consequently, leading to various health risks. It is argued that such sugar induced edibles be made more expensive, so as to discourage people from buying and consuming it. I strongly agree with this view as there is quite many factors on why sugar intake is not advisable. This essay explicates my view with relevant examples.

First and foremost, it is a well-known fact that these mass-produced edibles contain enormous amount of low-quality sugar than required and cut-off any natural ingredients. Furthermore, to expand their sales, they would keep the charge low to attract customers while still gaining profit. Therefore, resulting in huge consumption and illnesses. For instance, in our country itself, it has been reported that a renowned brand has fiddled with the ingredients and resulted in a numerous amount of children ending up in hospital as there liver were badly damaged etc. Studies reported that usage of cheap artificial materials which included sugar as a major reason behind such happening.

Secondly, as we all know, living in a fast-paced world, majority of us would give preference to cost rather than the quality of the item being bought. Thus, buying these cheap products over other healthier options. Since these are more of a convenience financially irrelevant of age and gender. On the other hand, if these products were to be sold at a higher price than usual, they would have less demand. Consequently, less risks of health deterioration. To cite an example, a chocolate brand not only made their chocolate less affordable but also produced with better contents, lead to less consumption of it while still meeting the sales margin. This also leads to higher preference towards healthier options.

In conclusion, it can be observed people of all ages tend to buy sugary products but then face major health consequences. I strongly believe that increasing the prices would tend to lower the consumption and promote healthy lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of a chocolate brand and the impact of price on consumer behavior. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven; the example regarding the 'renowned brand' and liver damage is a bit vague and lacks specific context. To reach a higher band, ensure that all examples are fully integrated and logically connected to the main argument. The position is consistent, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, meeting the requirements for a well-developed response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Furthermore', 'Therefore', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions feel a bit forced. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between the 'renowned brand' example and the broader argument about sugar pricing could be tighter. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'explicates', 'deterioration', and 'mass-produced'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'sugar induced edibles', 'fiddled with the ingredients', and 'irrelevant of age'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and academic phrasing. The range is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but more variety and accuracy would be needed for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there liver were', 'there is quite many factors') and sentence fragments (e.g., 'Consequently, leading to various health risks'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences being overly long or incorrectly punctuated. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of the writing. More attention to basic grammatical rules and sentence construction is recommended.

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