Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays in this fierce,fast pace modern society, consumers has consumed more sugars in their food and drink compare to the previous generation. Critic has argue that sugary products should be made more expensive and tax much higher to encourage people to consume less sugar. I fully agree with these approach, as this could deliver several benefits to our society.
Firstly, consuming high levels of sugar in the food or drinks are generally bad for people health as it could negatively affect our bodies in immediate effect or long term risk. Consuming lots of sugars often result in diabetes or obesity which are dangerous for out body health. A well known example, human body only need 2000 calories to maintain the basic function. Every extra calories from sweet drinks like bubble tea, carbonated soft drinks or snacks will turn into body fat and causing our body to become overweight or obesity. Obestiy often result in diabates which could cause serious complications ie: heart problem like higer risk of heart attack or stroke or harm in eye blood vessels which could cause vision loss.
On the other hand, government should tax sugar or sugary products heavily and this could build healthier society and reduce the burden on public healthcare system.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by stating a clear position, but it fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 208 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the first body paragraph provides some explanation regarding health risks, the second paragraph is extremely underdeveloped, consisting of only one sentence. To reach a higher band, you must extend your arguments with more detailed examples and analysis. The conclusion is entirely missing, which is a key component of a well-structured academic essay. Because the response is under-length and lacks a conclusion, the development of the argument is incomplete.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand' to signal structure. However, the paragraphing is problematic; the second body paragraph is far too short, and the lack of a concluding paragraph disrupts the overall logical flow. The progression of ideas is present but feels abrupt due to the brevity of the text. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting evidence and a concluding thought, and always include a final summary paragraph to tie your arguments together.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, using terms like 'modern society', 'complications', and 'public healthcare system'. However, there are several errors in word form and collocation, such as 'consumers has consumed' (subject-verb agreement), 'people health' (should be 'people's health'), and 'obesity' used as an adjective instead of a noun. There is also a spelling error: 'diabates'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure you are using the correct word forms (e.g., 'obese' vs 'obesity').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'consumers has consumed' (subject-verb agreement), 'Critic has argue' (should be 'Critics have argued'), and 'Every extra calories... will turn' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of 'ie:' and missing commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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