Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The synthetic eatables and drinks have generally elevated levels of sugar that can cause various health complications. Many people think that these products should be made less economical to discourage their use and I completely agree with them.

Synthetic sugar is directly related to diabetes mellitus, which is among leading disorders around the world. Excess of sugar has proven to be a threat for insulin producing cells inside the body and its effects are very difficult to overcome. It can reduce the production of insulin from these cells and make it difficult for a person to breakdown glucose of even normal range inside the body. The person will then be dependent on injectable insulin for life which is very difficult and costly. So, if a person is continuosly consuming such products, his pancreas has to work overtime to produce insulin and in long term it can lower the production and sensitivity of insulin.

Another condition associated with high intake of sugar is weight gain. A person consuming large amount of sugar will face difficulty in breaking down these sugars and therefore ultimately contributing in weight gain. Weight gain above a certain limit itself invites health problems such as high blood pressure, angina pectoris and other such issues. A person that is overweight is more likely to be exposed to health problems than a person within a healthy weight range.

Considering these points, I stress on the point to increase the prices of manufactured food and drink products to limit their use and ensure minimum health complications related to them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have clearly stated your position in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay. The response addresses the prompt by discussing health complications like diabetes and weight gain as justifications for the proposed price increase. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you explain the medical consequences of sugar consumption well, you could have strengthened the argument by explicitly linking these health outcomes back to the economic intervention (taxation) more consistently. The conclusion is a bit brief and could have summarized the main points more effectively to provide a more comprehensive final thought.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs focusing on distinct health issues, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Another condition associated with' and 'Considering these points' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. Some transitions could be more sophisticated to improve the overall cohesion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, though the connection between the health risks and the economic solution could be more tightly integrated within the paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly. Phrases like 'diabetes mellitus', 'insulin producing cells', and 'angina pectoris' show an ability to use topic-specific terminology. However, there are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'synthetic eatables' instead of 'processed foods' or 'less economical' instead of 'more expensive'. While these do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise academic synonyms would enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'continuosly' (spelling), 'breakdown' used as a verb (should be 'break down'), and 'in long term' (should be 'in the long term'). Additionally, there are minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the mistakes do not significantly interfere with the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on proofreading for small mechanical errors and refining your use of complex sentence structures.

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