Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The role of sugar has become an considerable debate in this contemporary era . owing to high level of sugar many food and drinks products creates various heath predicaments . therefore , sugary products ought be more expensive that encourage to individuals to take less amount of sugar .I partially agree with the given statment.This essay will critically examine both views before articulating a reasoned conclusion .

Lets us unfurl some advantages of expensive sugary products .The most compelling one is if sugary products make more expensive then people buy them less often .it can encourage to opt heathier choice and help to alleviate health problems such as obesity and diabetes For example higher price of sugary products may leads to parents to buy fewer sweet and chocolates for the children .Moreover , people give more preference to choose natural sugary products like fruits,vegetables and sugar free drinks and food. Another major advantage is that the additional tax revenue of sugary products can be invested in public healthcare and awareness campaigns ,which can benefit society in the long term.

However, simply increasing the price of sugary products may not be sufficient to reduce sugar consumption. Firstly , some people are highly accustomed to consuming sugary food and drinks ,thus they may continue purchasing them even when prices increase . For example , regular soft drinks consumers may be willing to pay more because they enjoy these products , Secondly ,consumer may switch to cheap unhealthy alternatives instead of reducing their sugar intake.

In conclusion , although it should be important for govt to increase the price of sugary products but only one option not suitable to consume less sugar ,It should be important that high authorities provide awareness campus for individuals so that they can aware about the problems that occur because of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that is partially in agreement with the proposed tax. The ideas are relevant, such as the potential for reduced consumption versus the risk of consumers switching to other unhealthy alternatives. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding tax revenue is mentioned but not fully explored in terms of its impact. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and lacks a strong summary of the main arguments. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported with more detailed explanation or specific, well-integrated examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion', which help the reader follow the argument. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Lets us unfurl some advantages'. Additionally, there are some issues with punctuation and sentence structure that occasionally disrupt the flow, such as the run-on sentences in the introduction and conclusion. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific terms like 'contemporary era', 'alleviate', and 'tax revenue'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'an considerable debate', 'heath predicaments', and 'awareness campus' (likely meant 'campaigns'). These errors do not generally impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and proofreading for basic spelling and word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('products creates', 'price... may leads'), missing articles ('the' before 'high level'), and incorrect verb forms ('ought be' instead of 'ought to be'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. While these errors rarely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 5.5 to 6.0 range. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small grammatical slips will be beneficial.

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